So this isn't really a "relationship" question, as much as it is an advise question. I'm constantly friend-zoned. This past semester I was friend-zoned by 4 guys. I'm not sure what I do wrong. I know I'm not the most attractive girl, but I'm in relatively decent shape and I'm pretty open. I'm not sure what more I can do to get out of the friend-zone. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. Building a romantic relationship is about meeting people who appreciate who you are. One of the best ways to meet individuals who genuinely want to be with you is to be yourself. Do things you love, keep growing as a person, plan your future, celebrate yourself and hang out with people who value the real you.
One of the biggest lessons in life is that if someone doesn’t like you, then it’s actually better not to have a relationship with them because it’s not likely to go very well. A more positive path is to be yourself and live a wonderful life. That way, you’ll attract people who really enjoy being with someone like you and will treat you like the important person you are.
Remember to keep being your wonderful self and the people who are meant to be in your life will eventually present themselves. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
The Relationship Situation
I need advice on a situation that has recently come up. I will try to make this very long story as short as possible. I am a female 20 years old and I have been in a complicated relationship with a guy (19) for about 7 - 8 months now. I only say complicated relationship because I am not sure exactly where the two of us stand. It started as more of a “friends with benefits” deal and that lasted a little bit before some basic rules were broken, the first of course being that I got emotionally attached to him. This past sept he went away for military boot camp and throughout he stay we stayed in touch through letters and a few phone calls. At this point I like him very much and wish to continue my relationship, whatever that may be, with him. However at the same time while he was gone I decided I would like to join the marines reserves I thought this would give me the chance to go through boot camp and become a marine like I wanted and also give me the chance to come back home and see where this relationship would go. But through some chain of events I got convinced it was best to just go active for benefits sake. Anyway the other day I told him (he has his phone now) that I might go to the marines and he said he would rather talk about it in person when he got back for his break. I didnt think that would be a problem being that he would be back in less then two weeks. But then I found out today that I am scheduled to go take my tests and officially enlist on wed/thurs. At this point I know I am going to go through with this because it is in fact the best for my life at this point. I am just concerned with what this will mean with our relationship. He wants me to stay over a few days when he gets back which I’m excited for but also nervous,I’m not sure how he will react to this and I have no idea how to tell him,I like him very much and I’m scared he is going to be mad or upset and will just end things there,Also I feel terrible not saying anything about it now and waiting for him to get back,I know he said he would rather be in person but idk if I should just not tell him where I am those two days,Any advice?please and thank you!
The Relationship Advice
Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the most important lessons in life is to follow your inner voice and do what you want to do so you can move in a positive direction. It’s like you’re taking care of yourself because you’re doing things that will help you create a positive life.
You get to decide what you do in this situation. You might find it helpful to take some time and decide what’s most important to you at this point in your life. Make sure it’s a decision that leads you in a positive direction and helps you live the best life possible. You might think in terms of what you really want to do in life regardless of what anyone thinks or any relationship you have.
Then you can decide how to talk with him. Keep in mind that, no matter how or when you do it, it’s better to get things out in the open. Talk with him kindly and calmly and listen to him. You can’t predict how he will react and you can’t control what he decides to do. All you can do is just let him know what’s important to you by communicating openly. If your relationship is meant to be, he’ll be happy for you and encourage you to succeed. If he decides to move on then you both are still great people and can move on and find people who fit your particular needs.
The mistake many people make is choosing a relationship with someone else at the expense of everything else in their lives. This leads to living a life of resentment and dissatisfaction which eventually affects the relationship. Remember that you get to decide what you need in life to take care of yourself and be the healthiest and most balanced you possible. Take care.
