I've been best friends with this boy for over a year now (I was dating his best friend for about 3 month last year) & we flirt alot. I wouldn't say I fancied him but recently I can't imagine him with another girl, I've started to notice little things about him I hadn't before. Saturday we went out & he had his arm around me some of the night & we joked on about joining dating sites &he said "We'd get matched up, we're so alike". I think I am starting to like him, but I don't want too lose him. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what you want to do in a relationship and what’s best for you. Perhaps you might spend some time getting to know him as a friend. Hang out, have fun and enjoy many conversations. Ask each other questions and listen to each other.

The idea is to get to know him really well so that you can make a decision that works for you. The more you know him, the easier it will be for you to figure out your next step. Remember that you deserve to be with someone whom you know really well and who likes the real you. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

ive been with my boyfriend for almost 6mos is it bad that i feel like i can never break up with him but i’ve actually thought about it multiple times even my friends want me to break it . we’ve had so many ups and downs, mostly downs because he’s my 2nd boyfriend and obviously i’m paranoid to lose him and i end up pushing him away . hes very experienced and he opened up to me telling me he thinks i’m the one . he knows what he wants and he wants a future with me . we’ve had more than 3 moments where we almost broke up but one of them i somewhat asked him to take me back and i apologized but the rest he apologized and asked to take him back when he could have just let me go and he actually cried one two of those occassions. what should i do coz i think im not sure what i want right now . i feel like i want to explore but i do want to be with him in the future . it’s like what we have now isn’t really happening in the right time .

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to find a relationship that works for you and that also helps you treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. Perhaps you might ask yourself a few questions to figure out what you want to do, such as:

  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What’s working in my current relationship and what’s not?
  • What is causing the on and off nature of my current relationship?
  • What would I do differently in the future?
  • What do I need to do to move in a positive direction?
  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • What do I want to tell my significant other?
  • What do I really want to do?
  • What am I doing to build myself up as an individual?

Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll eventually find what works for you. The key is to be in a relationship that makes sense to you and that feels right. You might also consider having some kind and calm conversations with your boyfriend about what you think and feel. Make sure to listen to his point of view as well. When you’ve talked a few times you’ll have a better idea of what your next step is.

You get to decide what kind of relationship you’re in and how to live a positive life. Remember that you both deserve to be with someone that is a good fit for you and works with you to build a balanced relationship. Take care.