I recently met a guy & we've been spending a lot of time together lately.. He just confessed to me, that he likes me via text message. He was planning on telling me in person, but we missed each other. Now he's gone for a weekend, and there is no way I can reach him. How can I tell him on monday that I dont want a relationship, but dont want our friendship to end either? How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to communicate clearly and kindly with people in any relationship. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you want to tell him and then talk with him in a gentle and caring way. The idea is to let him know what you feel and do it nicely.

You can’t do anything about how he reacts but you can be there for him, listen to him and let him know what his friendship means to you. Remember that you get to decide how you interact with people and what kind of relationship you want. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year now, although we broke up for a couple months over the summer. The problem is we broke up the first time because he wasn't giving me enough attention and I felt like I was the only one putting in effort. We got back together because he told me numerous times that he's changed. But now I'm feeling the exact same way as the time around when we broke up. I don't know what to do because I really care about him and I know he cares about me. — tiatamjam

Thank you for sharing your situation. In a healthy relationship, both people work hard to make sure they and the other person behave in positive ways. Perhaps you might do some thinking about what you need in a relationship and talk calmly and kindly with him. The idea is to decide what you want and how you want to be treated and then have some friendly conversations to help you both be on the same page. Make sure to listen to him so you can learn about his perspective.

After you talk a few times you’ll be able to decide what’s best for you and what you want to do next. It’s also beneficial to pay close attention to how he’s behaved in the past because it’s likely to be how he behaves in the future. Remember that you both deserve to be with someone who treats you wonderfully and meets your needs. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

Hey, met this guy through facebook. And, I live in the middle east and he lives in London. Ive mentioned that im going there to do my masters.And told him not to give up on me, just yet, i hve a yr and a half left. Before this even happend we’ve on the phone like once and twice, 2 yrs ago. And we’ve come again this valentines day and we’re talking only this time we’re getting to know each other. Can you guide me of questions to ask him? So, i get bored easily and et to know him more. Cos’ i wnt this to work. thank you!

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. One positive way to help a relationship grow is to communicate by asking open-ended questions. These are questions that encourage the other person to answer with something other than a yes or no. You might try some questions such as:

  • What are you thinking about our relationship?
  • What do you love doing?
  • What’s your passion in life?
  • What are your career plans?
  • What hobbies do you enjoy?

The idea is to ask him any question that you have a curiosity about and then listen to him without interrupting or directing the conversation, just listen. The more you listen to him the more you’ll learn about him. It will also help you build a relationship because you’ll get to know each other better. It’s also OK to share your thoughts and feelings with him.

In a healthy relationship, the people involved talk openly about things and enjoy learning about each other. Remember that you deserve a relationship with someone who wants to be with you and share his life with you. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

Well I'm not currently on the best terms with my guy. Our last argument was not a good one. I love him so much though. All my friends and family tell me to leave him, but I just can't. I always end up texting him or calling him, but whenever he talks to me he just acts annoyed. SO then when I don't contact him for a week or so, he'll call me and be the biggest sweetheart. I want to get over him, but then I don't.. What do I do?! Because I know this is not a healthy relationship. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you how you want to be treated in a relationship. Whatever you decide to do sends him a message as to what you’re willing to accept.

It’s always a good idea to watch how people behave in a relationship because it usually shows you how they’ll be in the future. You might consider taking some time to think about how you want to be treated and what kind of relationship you want. If you’d like, you can talk with him kindly and calmly and tell him what you need. Listen to him as well and get an idea of where he’s coming from. Once you talk a few times you’ll be able to decide what’s best for you and what you need to do to move your life in a positive direction.

Another option is to take a breath and take a break from the situation so you can do things you love and celebrate who you are without a significant other in the picture. Sometimes, taking a break will give you a clearer perspective of what’s really going on in the relationship. It’s also a good idea to listen to your inner voice, it’s the one telling you what you need to do to take care of yourself.

In a healthy relationship, the people involved are kind and attentive with each other all the time, not just sometimes. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you consistently well and behaves positively. You’re worth it. Take care.

My question is just short and simple. If my boyfriend broke up with me in November, and then he came back to me asking me back out again, from a mans perspective what do you make of this? — proverbs-423

Thank you for your question. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking but it’s always a good idea to pay attention to what people do in a relationship. The way he behaves now is likely to be what he does in the future. It’s up to you to decide whether it works for you.

You might want to take some time to think about what you would like to ask him. Then talk calmly and kindly with him, ask him your brief questions and listen to him. The idea is to gather information so you can decide what to do next. Pay close attention to whether what he says matches his behavior.

You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Have some friendly conversations with your significant other and you’ll eventually find an answer that’s appropriate for you. Treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction as you’re thinking about what you want to do.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and treats you the way you want to be treated. You’re that important. Take care.

There is this really cute guy at work, but everyone else thinks he's cute too :( We have talked a couple of times and he seems like a nice guy. I'm not the prettiest girl on earth and a lot of the girls at my work are way prettier than me. So I'm thinking that I have no chance with this guy :/ — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You’re a beautiful person the way you are and you deserve to have happy relationships with people who appreciate you. One positive way to get to know people and build a relationship is to talk with them in a friendly way.

You don’t have to be perfect or act a certain way; just be yourself, ask questions, listen to him and tell him about yourself. Keep talking with him and learning about him in a casual, informal way and eventually you’ll know if he’s a good fit for you. The key in any healthy relationship is to find someone who really appreciates the real you and wants to spend time with you. You’re worth it. Take care.

After being together for 2 weeks, my bf has shown that he is really committed and very supportive. Although, today when i looked at his facebook, apparently a friend who is a girl is sleeping over his house. He never even told me about it. The thing is i dont know if i should be worried? I dont want to talk to him about it because i stalked his fb profile. I just dont know what to do? :S I dont think he realises he is in a relationship? Ugh.... ;( — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to watch your significant other’s behavior in a relationship. What they do know is likely what they’ll be like in the future. You might think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Ask him some brief questions and listen to him without interrupting or reacting negatively. Gather information from him before you draw a conclusion.

The key in a healthy relationship is for both people to know each other really well and communicate openly. Take some time to talk with him and learn about him and you won’t have to guess what’s going on. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is truthful and willing to commit to you exclusively. Take care.