I love my boyfriend with all of my heart. I do, he is absolutely beautiful to me. I also think the same about my very best friend. However, her new boyfriend and his best friend is someone... I don't think deserves to breathe. I have tried to give this guy a chance, but he is the rudest and most sickening person I have ever met on this Earth. He has done wrongdoings to me that I would not tolerate from anyone. I feel extremely alone in all of this, and am clueless as to what to do. Help please? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you what you do in any relationship and what limits and boundaries you set. If you don’t like this person you have two major options:
- Stay away from him.
- Try to talk with him and improve the situation.
You can’t do anything about how other people behave, you can only control what you do. Take some time to think about what you want to do and how you can help yourself live a great life. Talk to people you trust and keep thinking about a positive solution. The idea is to either stay away from him or fix things, not keep a negative situation going.
When you keep focusing on negative energy it hurts you. That’s why it’s important for you to figure out how to heal yourself and feel better. You’re worth it. Take care.
my boyfriend of over a month wants me to send him nudes, and ive told him i dont feel comfortable with this.. what should i do? — Anonymous
Thank you for your question. You decide what you’re comfortable doing in a relationship, not anyone else. It’s never a good idea to send someone nude pictures because sometimes relationships don’t last and your pictures can end up in places you don’t want them to.
It’s OK to trust your inner voice, it’s telling you what’s appropriate for you. In a healthy relationship, people set their own limits and boundaries and respect each other’s wishes. You might find it helpful to just tell him what you think calmly and kindly and leave it at that. You can’t do anything about how he reacts or what he says. Listen to what he says but realize it’s just his point of view, not yours.
One of the biggest lessons in any relationship is to only do what you’re comfortable doing. You’re too valuable a person to be doing things you don’t want to do. Remember that the goal in any relationship is to be with someone who treats you wonderfully and respects your boundaries. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
I dated the same guy for 2 years. About a month after we broke up he started dating a new girl. This was 10 months ago, & while they've been dating he's been texting me saying he still loves me & he wants to have sex with me again. I told him many times to stop contacting me & to leave me alone, because the more he talks to me, the harder it is to be over him. I miss him, and I think a part of me will always love him. I want him to break up with his girlfriend & be with me but do i say anything? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up and it’s normal to wonder what you want to do. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. It’s always a good idea to look at what’s happened in the past because it’s likely to be what happens in the future. Pay close attention to how he’s behaving now and what it might mean. For example: What does it mean when someone is going out with a person and texting another?
You might want to take some time to think about what you want to do and ask yourself a few questions such as:
- What can I do to make sure I take care of myself and move my life in a positive direction?
- What worked in my relationship and what didn’t? How did each affect me?
- What limits and boundaries am I setting?
- What am I doing to figure out who I am and live a great life?
- What am I doing to build myself up that doesn’t involve him?
- What do I know about myself and how I deal with loss?
Think about questions like these for a while and you’ll figure out what you want to do. The key is to behave in ways that help you live a positive life. Keep in mind that it’s beneficial to try to have a relationship with someone who is fully available. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is committed to you and treats you wonderfully. Take care.
My best friend and her boyfriend (8 months) have asked me to have a threesome with them. The IDEA is appealing, but there are so many bad things that could happen. So I don't want to do it. But they think that I just need to "warm" to the idea more, so both of them have started heavily flirting with me, in person and in texts, though I don't flirt back. I have just been asked if they can take me lingerie shopping. I don't want to loose them as friends, but how can I stop this sexual pursuit? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important that you do what you think is right in any relationship. A lot of people get into complicated situations because they listen to what other people say instead of their own inner voice.
You get to decide how you behave based on your thoughts, values and beliefs. It’s also important to think ahead about what the consequences of your actions might be; it helps avoid future headaches.
It’s OK to tell people what you will and won’t do. Be calm, specific, confident and kind while setting clear limits and boundaries. You can’t control how they react but you can control your own behavior. Remember that you deserve to be around people who don’t ask you to do things you don’t want to do and don’t put you in uncomfortable situations. Take care.
