The guy I like told me he still really likes me but he doesn't like me as much anymore (what does that mean?) and has been left me hanging for ages. He is the shy type and doesn't really make the move whatsoever, he's only ever put his arm around me, yet we have liked eachother for 6 months now. I don't understand, I really want something to happen with him, just something, but he wont do anything. I don't want to move because he said he doesnt like me as much anymore. HELP — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to tell what someone else is thinking in a relationship unless you ask them directly. You might want to take some time to think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Listen to what he says without interrupting and learn about his perspective.

The idea is to gather information so you can decide what you want to do next. It’s also OK for you to let him know what you’re thinking and feeling as well as what you need in the relationship. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you, communicates openly and treats you well. Take care.

So I've liked this guy for a couple years and he says he likes me back but doesn't have time for a relationship right now. He tends to be flirtatious towards other girls and doesn't understand why I get jealous. I'm thinking he's using me because he's very wishy-washy in everything he says. Is it time to let him go and move on? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and whom you want to be with. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what’s important to you and how you want to be treated.

Consider having some kind and calm conversations with him to let him know how you feel as well as listening to him. Learn about his perspective and decide he’s a good fit for you. Pay attention to how he’s behaved up to now as well, it’s likely to be what he’ll do in the future. Keep in mind that it’s always a good idea to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you and will meet your needs. You’re that important. Take care.

this is awkward to discuss, but basically i'm starting to get a bit weirded out by a certain fetish my fiancee has. he just recently told me that he's always had a urination fetish and really wanted to..well..urinate on me. at the moment i was a little freaked out but i let him when we were in the shower. now he's becoming obsessed with it and is wanting to take it further. is this a normal thing? how do i break it to him that i'm really not into that without hurting his feelings? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important in any relationship that you only do things you’re comfortable doing. You get to decide what’s appropriate behavior for you, not someone else.

It’s up to the people in a relationship how they express their sexuality, that means that they get to decide what’s appropriate as long as they treat each other with respect and don’t make anyone do something they don’t want to do. The key is to never do something you’re uncomfortable doing.

You might consider talking with him calmly and kindly about how you feel. Keep it brief and friendly but let him know what’s on your mind and what you need. Listen to him and learn about his point of view as well. After you have a few calm conversations you’ll be able to decide what’s best for you.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who respects your needs and treats you the way you want to be treated. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

hi there , so i’ve been with my boyfriend for 6mos this friday and he tells me that he thinks about me when hes at work and just everything thinking what i’m doing and i told him straight up if you really do think about me then atleast tell me or show it so it’s not just me who is thinking about you all the time .. was that a little harsh ? i mean he thanked me for the feedback but i just feel a little bad . i also said bad things about valentines day and relationships and he got a little sad apologizing that he cant be perfect (i told him nobody is) and that he can’t meet my expectations when all i really want is for him to be sweet towards me sometimes and atleast give me something to remind me of him or take me to movies every now and then . how do i tell him that i want him to do that ?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s OK to ask for what you want in a relationship. The key is to do it gently, respectfully, calmly and kindly. You might think about what you really want to ask him for and then set up a time when you can both talk. Tell him how you feel and make sure to listen to his point of view without interrupting or reacting negatively.

It’s also really important to praise people for doing nice things. For example: If someone says he’s thinking about you, that’s a good thing that merits praise. You’ll get better results when you let him know he’s doing things well. Keep in mind as well that your expectations are yours, not his. Imagine if he expected you to be someone you’re not. It can actually backfire to ask people to do things that they don’t really want to do because it creates resentment and unhappiness.

In a healthy relationship, both people act like themselves and are accepted by the other. Remember that you both deserve to be in a relationship where the other person likes and accepts who you are. Take care.

me and this guy have been talking for quite a long time, i hang out with him a lot, we have kissed before, and i have strong feelings for him...he told me he feels the same way about me. how do i let him know that i want him to ask me out? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s OK to tell someone how you feel in a relationship. There are a couple of things that can happen if you let him know how you feel:

  1. He likes you too and you go from there.
  2. He’s not interested, you’re still a wonderful person and you can focus on someone else.

You might find it helpful to take some time to think about what you want to tell him. Keep it brief and friendly and just tell him when you both have time to talk. Listen to what he has to say and go from there.

Remember that, regardless of what happens, you’re a wonderful person and you deserve to tell people how you feel and find someone who feels the same way about you. Take care.

Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 7+ months and I love him very much, but he has a very bad habit of calling me a bitch. I tell him everytime to stop, him saying It's a habit and he calls everyone that. Recently I discovered that he doesn't call his ex a bitch ever so it annoys me greatly that he can't stop for me, his girlfriend. I've also discovered that his sends her text saying he's gonna sit her in his lap and do other inappropriate things. What do I do? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. Name calling is unacceptable in a relationship. It shows a disregard for the other person as well as an inability to control one’s own behavior.

You get to decide what you want in a relationship, what kind of person you want to be with and how you want to be treated. Take some time to think about how he treats you and what his behavior says. It’s likely that the way he behaves now is how he’ll behave in the future unless he’s willing to do a lot of work to change it.

It’s OK to ask people for what you need as well. Let him know how you want to be treated and what you find appropriate. Do it in a kind and calm manner but make sure you ask for what you want. Pay close attention to how he reacts and what he does and consider whether it works for you.

It’s up to you to figure out what kind of people you want to let into your life. In a healthy relationship, people treat each other with respect and kindness and support each other in positive ways. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who treats you wonderfully and values the great person you are. Take care.

My friend and I have known each other for a couple years, but didn’t actually become friends until last year. When we’re away at school, we’re 8 hours apart. Next year he’s going to be studying aboard for a year. He admitted to liking me (the feeling is mutual), but then apologized bc he’s avoided me over winter break since he won’t have time to invest in a relationship in the future. My question is how can I get him to realize I’m not trying to date him and just want to hang as friends. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to be open and clear with the other person in any relationship. You might think about what you want to tell him and then have a conversation with him. Make sure to keep it brief, kind, caring and friendly. Let him know what you want and what you would like to see happen.

You can’t do anything about how he reacts but you can tell him kindly and calmly what you think and feel. Make sure to listen to him without reacting negatively, just listen. Remember that it’s OK to tell people what you want and set limits and boundaries you’re comfortable with. Take care.