I've been out with quite a few people, but recently I went out with the best guy ever, he was the first person I actually LOVED rather than just liked.. he dumped me, and now I can't seem to get over him. we never text anymore either. I want to start talking again but I don't know how to do it subtly — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up of a meaningful relationship. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you want to tell him and let him know you’re open to talking. Then let go and give him time to think.
One of the biggest lessons in any relationship is that you can’t control what someone else thinks or does, all you can do is behave in a way that helps you treat yourself well and moves your life in a positive direction. It’s OK to offer to talk things over with him. If he comes around, that’s great; if he doesn’t, it gives you the opportunity to focus your energy elsewhere. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way and do things that build you up without a significant other.
Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is willing to work on things and wants to spend time with you. You’re worth it. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
I've been with my boyfriend for two years. I love him & we're the best together. I recently met a guy who's very handsome, cute & charming. He has a girlfriend of four years. We've been flirting a lot via text & we see each other once a week in our 3 hr lecture & a few times outside of class. I can tell that he's into me, I'm into him, and there is a noticeable amount of sexual tension between us. I want to hook up with him, but I'm not willing to let go of my boyfriend for just that. Advice? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to try to date people who are fully available and able to commit to you. It’s also beneficial to pay attention to how people behave right now because that’s likely how they will act in the future.
You get to choose what kind of relationship you want and how you behave. Perhaps you might consider that positives and negatives of anything you might want to do and how it might affect you and the people around you. The key in life is to behave in ways that help you move your life in a positive direction and treat yourself and others well. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both people are completely honest and there for each other. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
My ex is my first everything. We dated for almost two years, until we went off to different colleges. We have been through a lot together, so I feel very close, and connected to him, but he is sending mixed feelings about how he feels. He wants to date other people, and he doesn't want to be tied down, yet he still tells me how much he loves me, and checks in with me daily. We do have trust issues because of somethings he's done, but I'm willing to work on that. Do I let go, or follow my heart? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to pay close attention to how people behave in a relationship because, the way they’ve behaved in the past is usually how they will behave in the future. You might find it helpful to also think carefully about whether his words match his actions.
You get to decide what kind of a relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Perhaps you might take some time to think about the positives and negatives in the relationship and what effect each of those has on your life.
The idea in a healthy relationship is to make decisions that help you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and who inspires trust. You’re worth it. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
So I've liked this guy for a couple years and he says he likes me back but doesn't have time for a relationship right now. He tends to be flirtatious towards other girls and doesn't understand why I get jealous. I'm thinking he's using me because he's very wishy-washy in everything he says. Is it time to let him go and move on? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and whom you want to be with. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what’s important to you and how you want to be treated.
Consider having some kind and calm conversations with him to let him know how you feel as well as listening to him. Learn about his perspective and decide he’s a good fit for you. Pay attention to how he’s behaved up to now as well, it’s likely to be what he’ll do in the future. Keep in mind that it’s always a good idea to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you and will meet your needs. You’re that important. Take care.
My boyfriend and I will be making two years on January 21 (Next week) Since the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and kept on until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I chose to forgive him, I then cheated on him several times. I know I am not in love with him and I am pretty sure he is not in love with me. I find myself wishing or thinking of being single, I also find myself interested in other guys. How do I let go and why is it so hard for me to let go? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to let go of someone you’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes people hang on to each other because they’re stuck in a certain behavior pattern, they’re dependent on each other or they feel they won’t have another opportunity to find love.
The key to interrupting this cycle is to choose what’s best for you. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Think in terms of what you need to live a positive life and treat yourself well. You might even consider spending some time alone to find out who you are and celebrate the wonderful things about you. It’s like taking a deep breath after you’ve been underwater for a long time.
In a healthy relationship, the people involved value each other, behave in positive ways and really want to be with each other. It’s really difficult to keep a relationship going if one of the people doesn’t want to be in it. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Be brief and to the point and listen to him.
Remember that you get to decide what kind of relationship you want and who you want to be with. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way as well. Take care.
Is it alright to contact your ex? Its her birthday in a week and a half. I kinda figure it would be rude not to but she does seem like she doesn't want to talk to me. I do want her back but I realize thats not going to happen. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. Once a relationship is over the only contact that is appropriate is whatever the people involved have agreed to. If you don’t have regular contact then it’s probably best to keep it that way. If you’re still close and talking then you might go in that direction. For any contact to occur, both people have to be comfortable with it.
It’s hard to go through a break up and have to let go of someone. Make sure you take some time to discover who you are and do things you love doing. Be the healthiest and most balanced person you can be and you’ll attract new people into your life who value who you are. You’re worth it. Take care.
I waited too long to the boy I like that I like him. We were dating casually for a couple of months and then he started acting very distant. I know it's my fault for not working hard enough to show him how much I care, and now he has a girlfriend. Part of me wants to vocalize how I feel, but I don't want to rock the boat with him and his new girlfriend. Should I tell him how I feel or should I just let it be? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It hurts to have to let go of someone. There’s not much you can do once someone is in another relationship but you can take some time to think about what happened. Examine what worked and what didn’t and what you might do differently in the future.
Take some time to heal, do things you love and figure out who you are. Hang out with your friends and make some new ones. Participate in activities you enjoy. Talk to people you trust. Plan your future without a significant other.
Once some time has passed you’ll have a clearer idea of who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life. The main thing is to take care of yourself and do things that help you feel great.
As you get stronger, happier and healthier you’ll attract people who like you for who you are. Regardless of what he decides to do in the future, you’ll be a great person who is moving in a positive direction. Take care.