i like this boy at college, we have been talked on facebook but we dont have the same schedule in college so i usually never see him, just in a few times and i say hi and nothing else, and really shy , but i dont know i he likes me too :( what can i do ? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. A positive way to build a relationship is to increase the amount of communication. You can talk with him any way you want, in person tends to be the most fulfilling.

It’s OK to be shy. Perhaps you might think about getting to know him as you would a friend. Hang out with him, ask him questions, tell him about yourself and learn about him. Take the pressure off yourself by just being friendly and spending time with him.

You don’t have to be perfect or act any certain way. It’s always beneficial to just be yourself. That way, if he likes you then he likes the real you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values who you really are and wants to spend time with you. Take care.

I'm seeing this guy and I really like him but I'm extremely shy. I never know what to say. I've been like this my whole life but he's a pretty loud person so it makes my shyness more noticeable.. what should I do? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s OK to be shy. The idea in any relationship is to be yourself and go out with people who appreciate the person you are, not someone else.

You might consider getting to know him in a friendly way. Talk with him, hang out with him, ask him questions, tell him about you and just learn about him. As you get to know him better you’ll feel more comfortable and it will be easier to talk about things.

You don’t have to be perfect or act any certain way, just be yourself. If he doesn’t appreciate who you are, you’re still a great person and you can focus your energy on someone else. Remember that you deserve to be with people who value who you are and want to spend time with you. Take care.

I've liked this guy for about 6 years now, and I've confessed to him some time ago. I know he doesn't like me, but I can't stop thinking about him! He makes me weak in the knees every time I see him. However, he's different towards me than he is with a lot of people. He's always a little mean towards me. (i.e. with other people: "Hey man, what's up?" ; With me: "Hey Ja-" "Whatever."[Him]) Do you think I should give up on him, or keep trying? Any advice if I do try to give him up? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what you do in any relationship. The main idea is to be with people who treat you wonderfully and help you live a positive life.

You might find it helpful to take some time to think about how you want to be treated in a relationship and what kind of person you want to be with. It’s also a good idea to try to have a relationship with someone who really values who you are and wants to be with someone like you. You might want to try to get to know him better before you decide what to do. Have some conversations with him and learn about him. The more you know about him, the more you’ll know if he’s a good fit for you.

You’re a valuable and important person and you deserve to be with someone who is weak in the knees for you as well. Take care.

I have been dating this guy for 14 months now, and we don't really do anything because he is my first real relationship, and I'm scared of doing things.. We don't really get to see each other since he lives on the other side of town, and if we do get to see each other it's in school. At first our relationship was amazing, but lately it just feels like it's falling apart. Like it's just a friendship. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, I really do.How can I make it feel like a relationship again? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide at what speed you want to move in a relationship. Nobody else gets to decide that for you. Perhaps you might ask yourself a few questions to clarify what you want to do, such as:

  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What am I comfortable doing?
  • What is working and what would I do differently?
  • What am I doing to make sure I take care of myself and move my life in a positive direction?
  • What do I want to tell him?
  • What do I want to learn about him?
  • What would make me more comfortable?

It’s perfectly OK to move at your own pace in a relationship. It’s also beneficial to talk with the other person. Take some time to think about the questions above and then have some calm and kind conversations with your significant other. Ask him questions, listen to what he says and tell him about yourself. Have many conversations so that you learn more about each other and become more comfortable.

The key in any relationship is to know the other person well enough so that you make positive decisions. Take some time to learn about each other and you’ll eventually know what’s right for both of you. Remember to treat yourself well along the way and trust your inner voice. Take care.

I really like this guy who works at the bar near my house. He knows it too because I made it kind of obvious once and the next time I saw him he said in a flirty way 'so how are you since last time?'. Thing is, I know he's probably about 4/5 years older than me. Is he just taking the mick out of me because I'm younger and he knows it or is he actually being flirty? How can I start a conversation with him next time I see him? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to get to know someone really well before thinking about a romantic relationship. You might find it beneficial to take some time to just get to know him. Keep talking with him, ask him questions, listen to what he says, watch how he treats people and learn about him. All you have to do to start the conversation is ask him a question and be yourself.

The more you know about him the better idea you’ll have about what kind of person he is and whether he’s interested in you for the right reasons. The idea is to make sure you’re treating yourself well and moving in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who really values who you are and will treat you wonderfully beyond the flirting. Take care.

What's your take on girls asking guys out? and do you have any suggestions on how to? The reason I'm scared to ask this guy out is because I feel like it will make me seem controlling, like maybe take away his "manliness"??? ...if that makes sense??? — Anonymous

Thank you for your question. It’s perfectly fine for people to ask each other out and it’s normal to be nervous. You might find it helpful to think about getting to know him well before you decide whether you want to be in a relationship with him. Spend some time with him and learn about him. Ask questions, listen to him and tell him about yourself. The more you both know each other the easier it will be to tell what the next step is.

As far as his behavior or how he may react, you can’t do anything about that. If he has issues about someone being controlling or losing his manliness then that’s for him to work on. All you need to do is be yourself and be friendly. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who likes you and wants to spend time with you. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

I’ve been talking to a guy on and off since forever (basically) and I’m like 99% confident he’s interested in me since he puts so much effort into messaging me. I’m also pretty confident that he knows I’m interested as well, and if there was any doubt- while we were texting last week I said straight up “I like you,” and he responded with a smiley face (yay!) It’s always been pretty accurate that “if a guy wants to be with a girl, he’ll make it happen, no matter what.” So, what’s going on? Thoughts?

The Relationship Advice 

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s nearly impossible to tell what someone else is thinking in a relationship unless they tell you. You might find it helpful to keep getting to know him. Go at your own speed: hang out with him, ask him questions, talk about things you enjoy and just learn about him. The more you know him the fewer question marks you’ll have in your mind.

You might also consider continuing to let him know directly (and in person) what you’re thinking. It’s much easier to tell what someone means when you’re face to face. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who tells you how he feels and what he thinks of you. Take care.