im 18 and I've never had a normal sexual relationship mainly because im afraid of being hurt again, my first time and last time was with a guy who did some horrible things, i feel very insure , i just wan a normal sexual relationship, how do i get over my fear :/ — xxmisswhitexx
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to adjust after having a difficult experience in a relationship. The key is to make sure you take care of yourself and take action to not repeat the things that got you into the previous situation.
You might want to take some time to think about what worked in the past and what didn’t. Consider what you might do differently in the future to get different results. For example: You might think about how this person behaved throughout the relationship and make sure you watch out for anyone else who behaves that way. The idea is to look at what happened and learn from the experience.
Having a healthy sexual relationship requires that you feel healthy and happy about yourself. The more you love yourself the less likely you will be to attract people who are unhealthy. Consider taking some time to really get to know and celebrate yourself. Do things you love, plan your future, write a list of all the great things about you, read a lot, study, learn, exercise and enjoy life without thinking about a significant other. You might even consider giving yourself the gift of seeing a therapist who can help you discover how great you are and learn positive skills.
As you become stronger and build your self-esteem your perspective on dating and sex will shift. When you love yourself first you’ll attract people who appreciate the real you and will treat you well.
The key to building a great relationship is to feel wonderful about yourself first. Remember that you’re a valuable and important person who deserves to heal and enjoy healthy relationships. Take care.
