The Relationship Situation
Thank you for doing this. You’re doing a wonderful job. I am in a long term same sex relationship. We’re both female and 23 years old. Both of us are in University together and we have a very loving relationship. We’re both planning our future together and we have both decided that we will work fulltime and save for a place after we graduate (next3 years) because our degrees will help us get good paying jobs. In the mean time I used to be over at her house, but her mom found out about us and I am not welcomed there anymore. Of course we respect her parents stance and decision but now we have no more alone time and now have to reply on dates to see each other (which is regular per week as we both go to school together) its pretty new so we’re not feeling pressured as yet, but I cant help but wonder, can a relationship work like that until we are able to be financially independent? and also do you have any advice/ tips as to how we can make it work? we’re both very committed to making this work but we dont want to get carried away with unrealistic expectations so we do acknowledge that it’s going to be a looong time of sacrifice but I just wanted to ask if you have any tips that may help us if we happen to get frustrated, which I know we will at times. Sorry for the long message. Thank you so much for reading
The Relationship Advice
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your situation. One of the best ways to keep a relationship going is to continue to communicate with each other. Talk about what’s going on, listen to each other, share your thoughts and feelings and continue to be involved in each other’s lives. You don’t have to plan for a specific outcome or behave in any certain way, just be yourselves and continue letting the relationship develop naturally.
The important thing to remember is that what matters is how you treat each other and how you feel about each other. As long as you’re both treating yourselves and each other well and moving your lives in a positive direction, then you get to decide what works for you. You might find it helpful to brainstorm together and come up with ideas that seem interesting to both of you. There are no limits, the two of you get to decide what you want to do.
Remember that you both deserve to be in a relationship where you work on things in a way that makes sense to you and enjoy the time you have together. You’re both that important. Take care.
My boyfriend and I will be making two years on January 21 (Next week) Since the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and kept on until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I chose to forgive him, I then cheated on him several times. I know I am not in love with him and I am pretty sure he is not in love with me. I find myself wishing or thinking of being single, I also find myself interested in other guys. How do I let go and why is it so hard for me to let go? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to let go of someone you’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes people hang on to each other because they’re stuck in a certain behavior pattern, they’re dependent on each other or they feel they won’t have another opportunity to find love.
The key to interrupting this cycle is to choose what’s best for you. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Think in terms of what you need to live a positive life and treat yourself well. You might even consider spending some time alone to find out who you are and celebrate the wonderful things about you. It’s like taking a deep breath after you’ve been underwater for a long time.
In a healthy relationship, the people involved value each other, behave in positive ways and really want to be with each other. It’s really difficult to keep a relationship going if one of the people doesn’t want to be in it. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Be brief and to the point and listen to him.
Remember that you get to decide what kind of relationship you want and who you want to be with. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way as well. Take care.
