So my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost a year now. We used to be physically intimate 2-3 times a week until last month. Last month, it just stopped happening and has not happened since. I am fine with not having sex because I love her, and she loves me. But i am scared because i can't stop thinking that she has lost interest in me. Or that she isn't attracted to me anymore. I really don't know what to do. This is messing with my self esteem quite horridly. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always beneficial to talk openly about what’s going on in the relationship. You might find it helpful to think about what you’d like to ask her and then have some calm and kind conversations.

The idea is to talk about things so you’re both on the same page and learn about each other. The more comfortable you are talking with each other, the easier it will be to discuss any topic. You don’t have to say the perfect thing or ask the perfect question, focus instead on listening to each other without interrupting or reacting negatively.

As you continue to talk about things you’ll discover what’s really going on. Then you can work on it together. Remember that you both deserve to talk about important things and be there for each other. Take care.

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for sometime now, and i can tell that he wants to get a little more intimate and physical you could say.. Well he always does things to me, like caresses my stomach and my chest when we're alone together - never in front of others. I want it to progress too. What can I do to him that will kind of spice things up? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you what you do in a relationship as long as you’re treating yourself well and moving your life in a positive direction. You might consider talking calmly and kindly with him about what’s on your mind. Listen to his ideas as well. The more open you are with each other, the more you’ll understand each others’ needs.

The key is to keep talking with each other. Ask questions, share what you think and make decisions together. Get to know each other really well and you’ll be able to talk about anything. Along the way, remember to treat yourself and him with respect. Take care.

I've been seeing this guy for a short time but we both agreed that whenever we were together we were happier than either of us could remember. I came home for winter break and for half of it, we couldn't stay away from each other. I saw him every day for a while. We were intimate together and he respected me being a virgin still. We both want him to be my first. But since then he's stopped talking to me all together. I thought we really liked each other, why would he stop talking to me suddenly? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to tell what anyone is thinking in a relationship unless they tell you. It’s always a good idea to pay close attention to how people behave. The way he behaves now is likely to be how he behaves in the future.

Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you want to ask him or what you would like to learn about him. Then talk calmly and kindly with him about what you’re thinking and feeling. Be brief, direct and friendly. Then listen to what he has to say without interrupting or reacting negatively. The idea is to listen to him so you can find out what’s going on in his mind.

Once you have more information you can decide what will help you move your life in a positive direction. In a healthy relationship, people are there for each other and don’t disappear suddenly. That’s why it’s always beneficial to get to know someone really well before making serious decisions in any relationship.

Remember that you deserve to date people who value who you are all the time, not just some of the time. You’re worth it. Take care.

Me and my ex just recently broke up,were really close friends and still are intimate time to time, except he doesn't have feelings for me and I still am strongly in love with him, I don't know what to if I should still hangout with him and just hope one day I'll see him as a friend and not someone I still like. I want to be with him still so bad I don't know if i should still be intimate with him because sometimes its easy and sometimes I just feel so heartbroken.HELP! :( — lovef0relectro-deactivated20120

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up. You teach people how to treat you by what behavior you’re willing to accept. It will be up to you to decide what’s important to you and how you want to be treated in a relationship. You might think in terms of what message your behaviors are sending him and how you want to be perceived.

Keep in mind that it’s a good idea to be with someone who is there for you exclusively and who doesn’t ask you to compromise who you are in any way. Perhaps you could take some time to define what you want out of the relationship and how you want to be treated. Listen to your inner voice, it’s the one that tells you what to do to take care of yourself.

Don’t forget to celebrate how great you are. Do things you love and learn about yourself. The goal is to become the healthiest and most balanced you possible. The better you feel about yourself the more positive people you’ll attract. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and loves the real you. You’re worth it. Take care.

When your kissing guys on the cheek, do they like it closer to theyre lips or ears? — Anonymous

Thank you for your question. It really depends on the person and what your intention is. A friendly kiss is usually somewhere around the middle of the cheek (think about how you kiss a relative on the cheek when you say hello and you’ll have a sense for what a friendly kiss is). More intimate kisses might be closer to the lips or ear. Those are usually reserved for people you’re romantically involved with. Take care.

But which one do guys like more? Near the cheek or lip?
 
It’s hard to tell. It probably depends on the guy and how close your relationship is with them. Perhaps you could ask a few guys and see what they think. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost three months. He had liked me for three years prior to us going out and I only noticed him at the beginning of this year. we hung out a lot during the summer and started going out in August. I left for college the day after he asked me out. The distance is tough but we’ve been able to keep in touch and see each other every few weeks or so. He makes me very happy.

We talk when we’re away and we spend most of our time together being intimate. Sometimes I worry that we’re going a little too far physically because we’ve only been together 3 months. But I take into consideration and neither of us has ever been in a serious relationship before let alone been intimate with someone. I can see it as a time of exploration for both of us, testing our boundaries. But also there’s a lot of physical tension and it builds up because we can’t see each other that often. Should I be worried about how fast we’re going or do our circumstances justify it? If we should slow down what are some things we can do to resist any urges we might have to be intimate?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide what’s right for you. Take some time to think about how you really feel about your relationship and ask yourself some questions such as:

  1. What are the positives about the situation?
  2. What are the negatives?
  3. How does this situation make me feel about myself?
  4. What kind of a relationship do I want?
  5. How do I want to be treated?
  6. How does this situation fit in with my goals in life?
  7. How do I want to proceed?

Once you do some careful thinking about your situation you’ll be able to make decisions more easily. It’s also a good idea to talk about this with your boyfriend. Take some time to talk calmly and kindly about whatever is going on in your mind. Listen to each other and work together to make sure you’re both in a comfortable place.

Remember that you deserve to do things at your own pace and have someone in your life who will share the journey with you and treat you well. Take care.