im almost 19, never been asked out, had a boyfriend, been kissed, even been flirted with/hit on. nothing. usually im okay with it, to an extent im over it and i have given up on any chance of finding that type of love and affection, but i cant help but get brought down by it sometimes. i cant help but wonder if i am really that much of a terrible person that no one wants me in that way? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. There are no rules about when you need to have a romantic relationship, you get to decide what you want to do and when.

You might find it helpful to think of a romantic relationship as being similar to making new friends. One of the most positive ways to meet people is to make sure you really like yourself, do things you love and hang out with people who share your interests. The more genuinely happy you are inside and the more authentically you live your life, the greater opportunity you’ll have to meet people who are attracted to you.

The key is to just be yourself and live a great life. As you do this, you’ll move in circles where people will notice you and be interested in you. The other thing you might want to think about is just being open to the idea of meeting interesting people and having friendly conversations.

There are people out there at this very moment who are waiting to meet a wonderful person like you. Live your authentic life and they’ll come along when it’s time. Take care.

I started going to a different church a month ago. I like a guy there & I heard he likes me too. He tried talking to me. I didn't know what to say & all I did was laugh at his jokes. I'm not normally shy & I really don't know what to talk about. We're usually in a group together & it makes it harder to talk to each other. I heard other girls at church like him so I need some quick advice! But I don't want to rush anything too fast. Please, please help. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s OK to go at your own pace in any relationship. You might find it beneficial to get to know him on a friendly basis. You can even learn more about him when other people are around because there’s less pressure. You don’t have to behave any certain way or say perfect things to get to know him. All you have to do is be yourself.

You might consider just hanging out with him, talking with him, telling him about yourself, listening to him and just getting to know him to see what kind of person he is. Be yourself and act in a way that feels natural to you, like you’re not being someone else. If he likes the kind of person you are, then he’ll be interested. If he doesn’t, then you’re still a great person and you can focus on someone who is interested in you.

The idea when starting a new relationship is to have the other person like you for who you are. That way they like the real you and the relationship starts on a positive note. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates who you really are. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

So ive known my best friend Doug for 8 years (freshman in college now). I really like him, and hes always flirting with me but i dont want to say anything to him. Hes always wrestling with me and throwing me over his shoulder...However someone came up about a month ago saying "will you two just date and get it over with?" and he spat out no before i could say anything. i know how petty this is, and this is only for current relationships but i just needed some advice. thanks:) — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s positive that you both get along and you may want to just talk with each other to clarify what’s going on. It’s OK for you to tell him how you feel. Listen to what he has to say as well when you talk with him. Gather information so you can decide what to do next.

If he’s interested he’ll let you know. If not, then you’re still a great person and you can focus your energy elsewhere. The idea is just to get it out in the open so you don’t have to guess. Talk with him in a calm, caring, friendly way and remember that you deserve to be with someone who is interested in you as well. Take care.