Relationship Advice Blog

Thank you for sharing your situation. In any relationship, it’s up to each person to be comfortable and confident with themselves first before worrying about the other person. That’s so they can avoid situations where someone feels insecure or reads into what’s going on.

You might find it helpful to gather more information before you decide what’s going on. Think about what you would like to ask her and then set aside some time when you can both talk about things calmly and kindly. Tell each other how you feel and listen without interrupting or reacting negatively. Talk a few times and learn about each other.

Paranoia is about the person feeling it. It’s up to that person to learn positive skills so they can trust the other person. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what’s going on, it never goes away. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both people trust each other and communicate openly. Take care. 

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the keys to a great relationship is to love yourself first. When you love who you are you’ll be so comfortable with yourself that you won’t be insecure about things.

You might take some time to think about what is causing your over thinking and insecurity. Ask yourself questions such as:

• What is causing my over thinking and insecurity?
• What events in my life led to the way I think now?
• What is really happening in my relationship?
• What might not actually be happening?
• What is likely to happen in my relationship if I continue thinking like this?
• What is unlikely to happen?
• What am I doing to help myself be the happiest and most balanced person possible?
• What am I doing to make sure I’m happy on my own outside of a romantic relationship?
• Which of my behaviors make me happy and which don’t?
• Which behaviors would I change to feel happier?
• What am I willing to do to work on my over thinking and insecurity?

The idea is to think carefully about the reasons behind the over thinking and do other things that lead you in a positive direction. You might consider giving yourself the gift of talking with a therapist so you can learn how to deal with these thoughts and feelings and celebrate how great you are. It’s a way of treating yourself well.

You get to decide how you behave in any relationship and how you take care of yourself. Remember that you deserve to feel secure about yourself and others and enjoy positive relationships. Take care.

Thank you for your question. Insecurity is when you feel that you’re not good enough. It’s often a result of low self-esteem. It can cause people to do all kinds of negative things including thinking people don’t like them or are trying to get them.

One of the best ways to feel more secure is to take some time to build yourself up. You might start by asking yourself some questions like:

• What is causing this feeling of insecurity?
• What can I do to feel better about myself?
• What activities do I love doing and how can I do more of those?
• How can I make sure I’m the healthiest and most balanced person I can be?
• How is insecurity helping or not helping my life?
• How does insecurity affect my ability to have a positive relationship?
• In what ways can I move in a positive direction so I can feel great about myself?

A lot of insecurity occurs when people don’t feel great about themselves and compare themselves to others. The only way to get past that is to feel really good about yourself, to the point where it doesn’t matter what others say. You can achieve this by doing things that move your life in a positive direction instead of staying stuck in the insecurity. The more positive things you do, the better you’ll feel about yourself.

You don’t have to change who you are, just what you do. The next time you feel insecure just replace that thought with a positive thought or do something that builds you up. It takes a lot of practice, but after you do it many times, you’ll eventually be able to get rid of the feelings of insecurity.

If you need help, it’s OK to talk with a counselor who can help you figure out who you are and what you can do to celebrate it. Remember that you deserve to live a life where you feel secure and confident in who you are. Take care.

Thank you for sharing your situation. Perhaps you might think about what bothers you about the tattoo by asking yourself questions like:

• What really bothers me about it?
• Does how I feel about it match what’s going on in the relationship?
• What is it inside me that creates the insecurity?
• What are the positives of the relationship?
• What are the negatives?
• If there were no tattoo issue, what kind of person is my boyfriend and how does he treat me?
• What are some things I can do to take care of myself even if the tattoo doesn’t disappear?

In life, you get to choose how you react to any event or situation. It’s up to you how you resolve issues with your boyfriend. Perhaps you could have a series of conversations where you talk calmly and kindly about the impact the tattoo has on you. Then let him talk and listen to him without interrupting or reacting negatively. The next step might be for the two of you to decide together what to do next in a way that is positive for both of you.

You get to choose who you have a relationship with. Keep in mind that you can’t make other people do things, all you can do is work on yourself and let them know what you need. In the end, you’ll decide if this issue is a deal breaker or not. Take care.

Thank you for sharing your situation. You might find it helpful to talk with him as if you were just making friends. Hang out with him, ask him questions and talk about things you enjoy. You don’t have to talk with him any certain way or be perfect, just be yourself.

If he’s interested you’ll eventually know; if he’s not, then you can find someone who feels the same way about you. Either way, you’re still a great person. The other thing you might do is tell him how you feel and what you’re thinking about. It’s OK if you don’t say it perfectly, all that matters is being yourself.

Insecurity and jealousy come from inside you. Those type of feelings tend to go away the more you know and love yourself and just behave like yourself. You’re a valuable person and there are people out there who would be happy to be in your life. All you have to do is be yourself and do things you love.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who likes the real you and appreciates who you are. Take care.

Thank you for sharing your situation. People’s past behavior predicts future behavior unless they do something like go to therapy for a long time to learn new skills.

It will be up to you to determine how you deal with this situation. Listen to your inner voice, it’s sending you messages. There’s a reason you’re worried when he goes out with co-workers or female friends. Pay close attention to his behavior and listen to your brain. If something feels strange it’s often because it is.

To move past guessing what’s going on or feeling insecure, talk with your boyfriend calmly and kindly about your concerns. Let him talk as well. Keep it brief and make sure you both listen to each other and don’t react or get upset. The idea is to gather information so you can figure out if he’s behaving in a way that’s acceptable to you. You then get to decide whether you forgive the past or let it haunt the relationship forever.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants to spend time with you and behaves in a way that earns your trust. Take care.