Over the past four years, this guy and I have been really good friends, and have liked each other off an on. Earlier this year, we started dating. We dated for three months, and were very happy, until he randomly broke up with me because he was stressed and didn't have time for me. When I tried to be friendly, he told me to back off. So I did and now we haven't spoken in weeks and I just want to be his friend. How can I be friends with someone who acts like they dont want anything to do with me? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You can’t do anything about what someone else thinks or does in a relationship but you can decide what you want to do. You might take some time to think about what his behavior means, as in: What does it mean when someone behaves the way he’s behaving?

The idea is to decide how you want to be treated in a relationship and how you can keep your life moving in a positive direction. An important lesson in life is to pay attention to what people say and do and decide if it’s acceptable to you. You might consider letting go for a while and doing things you love to do without a significant other. Build yourself up and discover how great you are. If he decides to come around, fine; if not, then you get to focus your energy elsewhere.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you well and wants to spend time with you. You’re that important. Take care.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year now, although we broke up for a couple months over the summer. The problem is we broke up the first time because he wasn't giving me enough attention and I felt like I was the only one putting in effort. We got back together because he told me numerous times that he's changed. But now I'm feeling the exact same way as the time around when we broke up. I don't know what to do because I really care about him and I know he cares about me. — tiatamjam

Thank you for sharing your situation. In a healthy relationship, both people work hard to make sure they and the other person behave in positive ways. Perhaps you might do some thinking about what you need in a relationship and talk calmly and kindly with him. The idea is to decide what you want and how you want to be treated and then have some friendly conversations to help you both be on the same page. Make sure to listen to him so you can learn about his perspective.

After you talk a few times you’ll be able to decide what’s best for you and what you want to do next. It’s also beneficial to pay close attention to how he’s behaved in the past because it’s likely to be how he behaves in the future. Remember that you both deserve to be with someone who treats you wonderfully and meets your needs. Take care.

I'm in a LDR since 5 years. Saturday night, my BF cheated on me for the 1st time. He kissed a girl, pictures were taken. He keeps on denying, but his friends betrayed him and even if they were told not to speak, they finally did. I hate his lies more than his betrayal. I wasn't expecting at all, but everyone's saying : because of the problems he's coping with these days, he can commit that sort of things. His mom left with his sister, they had a fight. He drinks a lot. He stopped studies. Help — beauty-in-pink

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s very important to pay attention to how people behave in a relationship. The way they act now is likely to be what they do in the future.

You get to decide how you want to be treated in a relationship and what’s best for you. It’s always a good idea to treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Perhaps you might take some time to evaluate the situation and your history with him in general and decide what you want to do.

You might consider talking with him and letting him know how you feel and what you need. Make sure to listen to him as well, without interrupting or reacting negatively. Gather information so you can decide what you want to do next. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you well and wants to be with you exclusively. You’re worth it. Take care.

I was flirting with a staff member at the club and he said, "I can't wait to bump into you off the clock (because he was working and worried he would get in trouble)". So, I gave him my number and he kissed my hand. This happened Saturday and he has yet to call or text. Was he not really that interested or has he just not got around to getting in contact? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to tell what anyone is thinking in a relationship without asking them. Perhaps you might think about what you want to know about him and then talking with him. It’s also beneficial to pay close attention to his behavior and decide if it matches how you want to be treated.

Keep in mind that it’s important to move forward slowly and get to know him well before you decide if he’s a good fit for you. That will help you take care of yourself and make positive decisions. Also keep in mind that if someone is really interested in you they will treat you with respect, want to spend time with you and follow up promptly because they value who you are. Their actions will also match their words. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

Hi, I love my boyfriend. We have been together for 9 months. but i want a serious relationship but he wants to "just date". Is there any way we could work things out? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to realize that you can’t change what someone thinks in a relationship, only they can do that. That means that you get to decide what you do next based on what he’s doing right now.

You might want to think about what you want in a relationship and how you want to be treated. Once you know what’s important to you, you can talk with him calmly and kindly. Keep it brief and make sure to listen to what he says. The idea is to let him know what you need and learn about him. Once you have a few conversations, you’ll have a better idea of what’s best for you.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who shares your goals and wants to be with you exclusively. You’re worth it. Take care.

My ex is my first everything. We dated for almost two years, until we went off to different colleges. We have been through a lot together, so I feel very close, and connected to him, but he is sending mixed feelings about how he feels. He wants to date other people, and he doesn't want to be tied down, yet he still tells me how much he loves me, and checks in with me daily. We do have trust issues because of somethings he's done, but I'm willing to work on that. Do I let go, or follow my heart? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to pay close attention to how people behave in a relationship because, the way they’ve behaved in the past is usually how they will behave in the future. You might find it helpful to also think carefully about whether his words match his actions.

You get to decide what kind of a relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Perhaps you might take some time to think about the positives and negatives in the relationship and what effect each of those has on your life.

The idea in a healthy relationship is to make decisions that help you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and who inspires trust. You’re worth it. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

So I've liked this guy for a couple years and he says he likes me back but doesn't have time for a relationship right now. He tends to be flirtatious towards other girls and doesn't understand why I get jealous. I'm thinking he's using me because he's very wishy-washy in everything he says. Is it time to let him go and move on? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and whom you want to be with. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what’s important to you and how you want to be treated.

Consider having some kind and calm conversations with him to let him know how you feel as well as listening to him. Learn about his perspective and decide he’s a good fit for you. Pay attention to how he’s behaved up to now as well, it’s likely to be what he’ll do in the future. Keep in mind that it’s always a good idea to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you and will meet your needs. You’re that important. Take care.