There's this guy. He's my close friends cousin but he lives in India. We've known each other for 9 months, Skype each other daily for over 4 hours. I am his very first girlfriend. I love him, No doubt, but he is very misleading. His parents don't accept me as they want the traditional Indian wife for him. He doesn't care what they say though. He tells me he loves me and that he wants us to wed. Other times he just rejects me and calls me a good friend. Help? What's going through his mind? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to pay close attention to how people behave over the course of a relationship. The way he’s acted up to now is likely to be how he acts in the future. The same goes for his parents.

It’s up to you what you want in a relationship, who you want to be with and how you want to be treated. Perhaps you might take some time to make a list of the positives and negatives in the relationship and talk with him calmly and kindly about your concerns. Make sure to listen to him as well.

In a healthy relationship, the other person is clear about his intentions and encourages you to be yourself and live a positive life. Take some time to think about what would be most beneficial to you and keep talking with him about it. The more you know about each other, the easier it will be to decide what’s best for both of you.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you wonderfully all the time and who values the real you. Take care.

Hi, my ex of 2 years left me 4 months ago because his parent's made it impossible for us/we argued because of it. He still has our photo's on facebook, I don't know why he hasn't deleted them? We agreed to be friends and he didn't bother when I tried :/ He wouldn't see me because "it would hurt too much" and he'l always "have feelings for me" I'm talkign to a guy i've known for 6 years who I have a connection with, I feel i'm cutting off any last change of my ex coming back? :/ Can you help? :/ — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up in a relationship. You can’t control what he does but you can decide what you want to do. It’s always a good idea to do things that help you treat yourself well and live a great life. You might want to ask yourself a few questions to decide what you want to do, such as:

  • What does the way he treated me mean?
  • What do I want in a relationship?
  • How do I want to be treated?
  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • What worked in the relationship, what didn’t, and how did each affect me?
  • What am I doing to take care of myself?
  • What am I doing to live the healthiest and most balanced life possible without a significant other in the picture?
  • What decisions could I make right now that would have the highest possibility of helping me take care of myself?

Take some time to think about questions like these. Over time you’ll decide what’s best for you. The more you do to build yourself up the clearer your perspective will be. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is drama-free and helps you live a positive life. Take care.

So me and my boyfriend has been dating for about three years now. I'm happy , he's happy... I love him so much<3 In the beginning it was quite a struggle though with his parents because of my race(I'm half black/white) and their wanting him to marry someone from the same culture/race(hes Korean) as their selves but eventually they got over it since they thought we were just together for the moment. Heh but little did they know their son had bigger plans for us and he had popped the question to m — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It can be difficult when someone’s family doesn’t approve of a relationship for whatever reason. The important thing to remember is that other people’s thoughts and behaviors aren’t yours. You get to choose what works for you as long as it moves your life in a positive direction.

You and your boyfriend get to decide how healthy and strong your relationship is and what your future plans are. You might want to take some time to think carefully about what you want in a marriage and make sure your current situation matches your needs. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are and doesn’t bring a lot of baggage into the relationship. Take care.