im dating this guy he my first real long relantionship, next month is gonna be our one year, i lost my V to him & he met my family & we hang out everyday, his dad past away on our 9th month he says to me im the only thing that keeps him going & he always puts himself down, how ugly,fat,&dirty looking he is(he dark) & i start to see things that i dont like about him that it annoys me like the way he eats,sloppy & his body hurts alot, he only 20 & im 18, so far what do u think about my situation? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea for both people in a relationship to feel good about themselves first so that they can be there for each other. You can’t change how he feels about himself, he will need to work on that on his own, preferably with a therapist. He might consider finding a therapist he’s comfortable with and talking about his issues so he can heal and discover how great he is.
It’s up to you what you want to do and how you celebrate the wonderful things about you. You decide what kind of relationship you want to be in and with what type of person. Keep in mind that it’s beneficial to be in a relationship that helps you feel great and move your life in a positive direction. It’s hard to have a relationship where you take care of someone else because it leaves little or no time for you to take care of yourself.
You might want to take some time to think about what you need and what you want to say to your boyfriend. Then you can have some kind and calm conversations where you tell him what you need and listen to him. The idea is to learn about each other and figure out what your next step is. You might both think in terms of getting as healthy and balanced as possible on your own before continuing to build a relationship.
Remember that you both deserve to feel great about yourselves and be in a relationship that makes you happy. Take care.
