I've been hanging out/casual dating this guy for a month now, and he's lead me to believe it was going somewhere and that he enjoyed spending time with me. We have a lot in common and I've told him already that I liked him. He went away on vacation, but kissed me before leaving, and while he was gone he kept telling me how excited he was to see me again. The day he got back he started ignoring my texts and messages on facebook out of no where. Any idea what could have prompted this? :( — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when someone’s behavior changes suddenly in a relationship and it’s difficult to tell what he’s thinking if he won’t talk with you. You might want to ask yourself a few questions to help you find your own answers:
- What is his behavior telling me?
- How do I want to be treated in a relationship?
- What action would be appropriate for me to take based on his behavior?
- What can I do to make sure I take care of myself and keep moving in a positive direction?
- What’s worked so far, what hasn’t and what would I do differently?
Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll be able to decide what you want to do. If you’d like, you can offer to talk with him and then let it go. If he comes around, the two of you can talk; if not, you have the opportunity to move on and find someone who wants to spend time with you.
Don’t forget that, regardless of how he behaves, you’re still a wonderful person. You might find it helpful to focus your energy on building yourself up, doing things you love and treating yourself well. As you live a great life, you’ll attract great people who appreciate the real you. You’re worth it. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
Tonight i was hanging out with my boyfriend of 10 months, and I asked him (because we were watching a movie about this) that if he had to, who would he save, me or a bunch of babies? he said (without doubt) that he would save the babies... I know maybe it was something stupid to ask but i felt really bad! Because I love him very much and I can't imagine my life without him... and apparently he can ): Maybe he doesn't love me the same way! I'm sorry if I sound stupid but I'm feeling super sad — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what’s important to you in a relationship and how you react to anything that happens in it. Perhaps you might consider telling him calmly and kindly how you feel and then listen to what he says. Have a few friendly conversations so you can get an idea of what he’s thinking and feeling. It’s also beneficial to look inside yourself to figure out what makes you feel the way you do.
The more you understand yourself and your boyfriend the more happy and balanced you’ll feel. Remember that you deserve to enjoy the great things about your relationships and work on the parts you want to improve. Take care.
I've been hanging out with this guy for a couple weeks. He already told me straight forward, that he doesn't date. Ever since I've been pretending that I don't care, but I do. When we hand out, he always makes me feel like I'm his girlfriend by holding my hand, hug me by every chance he'll get & kisses me. And I really like him, but I don't want to be that girl he just wants to have fun with. I'm just confused. HELP! — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. The key in any healthy relationship is to ask the other person for what you need. That means that you get to decide what kind of relationship is appropriate for you, how you want to be treated and what kind of person you want to be with.
You might find it helpful to take some time and think about what kind of relationship you want. Think in terms of how you can make sure to take care of yourself and move your life in a positive direction. Then look for a person who will value your needs.
Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and meets your needs. You’re worth it. Take care.
Ive been going out with a guy for 1.5 weeks now but I’ve known him for 2 years. My friend decided we should go on a double date (theyve been going out 7 months). The double date didnt go as planned. Never been in a real relationship before and so I felt very uncomfortable to hold his hand, and so I didnt at all when I was around my friend. I saw him the previous day and it was wonderful, but we were really tired on this day. I feel like I just screwed up… and im scared he thinks im boring now — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. The key to having a great relationship is to be yourself. That means that you get to relax and just be the person you are. You don’t have to act a certain way or be perfect, just be you.
The more genuine you are the better relationship you’ll have because, if the other person likes you, then you’ll know they like the real you. You might look at dating as hanging out with a friend. You spend time with the person, talk about things, ask each other questions and get to know each other in a friendly way. It’s a good idea to go out in a group because it relieves some of the pressure. It’s also important to keep in mind that it takes time to get comfortable with anyone and it’s OK to move at your own pace.
Remember that you’re a wonderful person and you deserve to be with people who appreciate who you are. Take care.
I was hanging out with this really sweet shy guy since May, but we stopped talking in November because I was just really immature and scared, I thought I had to play "hard to get". I gave him the impression I wasn't interested in him. Anyways yesterday I called him and asked if he was home because I was at a going away party on his street and wanted to talk to him. He was out and then texted me he was dating somone now. I asked how his night was, he didn't respond. Help please, any advice :( — peppermintgingerchew
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you look back on a relationship and wish you had done something differently. The good part is that it gives you an opportunity to behave differently in the future. You might want to take some time to think about what worked and what didn’t work and then adjust accordingly in the future.
It’s OK to make mistakes, the important point is to learn from what happened in the past. As far as reaching out to him, you get to decide if you want to contact him again. If he isn’t interested, you’re still a great person. Regardless of his response, you get to take your new knowledge and build stronger relationships in the future.
Keep working on being the happiest, healthiest you possible and you’ll attract nice people who appreciate who you are. You’re worth it. Take care.
so my best guy friend and best girl friend just got out of a relationship together. but now i think i like him.. but obviously can't go out with him because it's just not right. although, i think he might like me too.. we've been hanging out alot lately and we cuddle and hold hands. do you think we should wait to pursue a relationship together? also, do you think i should kiss him (because i really want to). thanks — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want. You might want to take some time to think about what might happen if you do certain things. Ask yourself some questions like:
- What would be the thing I could do that would get me the most positive results?
- What might I do that would help me feel good about myself?
- What do I know about people who just got out of a relationship?
- What might happen if I kiss him?
- What would I do to make sure I take care of myself and the people who are important to me?
- What is my inner voice telling me to do?
- What are the positives and negatives of any decision I make?
The idea in any relationship is to make decisions that lead your life in a positive direction and help you take care of yourself. Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll eventually arrive at a decision that works for you.
Another idea is to have some calm and kind conversations with the people involved and then figure out what you want to do. The more information you have, the clearer your decisions will be. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that helps you feel great about yourself and live a positive life. Take care.
Hi there. Well to start off, I think i'm in love with my friend. I've had a crush on him since sophomore year of hs, now we're freshmen in college. We share a lot of interests and we're always laughing and messing around when we're with friends. But the thing is, he has a girlfriend. I feel really stupid most of the time because he really cares about his girlfriend and I doubt he gives a shit about me. this may be cliche, but i'd wait for him, but i might just end up broken in the end. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to like someone who is unavailable. It’s always more beneficial to find a person who is fully available when you’re trying to start a romantic relationship because they can focus their attention on you and there’s no one else in the picture.
You might want to think about what you can do to make sure you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Think about what kind of decisions you might make today that would help you live a great life. For example: You might consider continuing the friendship but also being open to meeting new people and hanging out with them.
It also helps to live the best life you can and celebrate who you are. Do things you love and keep working on being the healthiest and happiest you possible and you’ll attract people who are genuinely interested in you and are available to date you.
You get to decide what to do and what will help you live a happy life. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is there for you and is available to have a romantic relationship with you. Take care.
