My boyfriend&I have been going a for about a year. As our relationship grew, so did how i thought about everything I take the most simple thing and turn it into something completely out of content or just so much more complex then it should be. I overthink everything. I know that if i want my relationship to last I need to get rid of that habit I trust my boyfriend so much and he is loyal, but my habit of over thinking makes me think differently it brings out all my insecurities. how can i stop? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the keys to a great relationship is to love yourself first. When you love who you are you’ll be so comfortable with yourself that you won’t be insecure about things.
You might take some time to think about what is causing your over thinking and insecurity. Ask yourself questions such as:
- What is causing my over thinking and insecurity?
- What events in my life led to the way I think now?
- What is really happening in my relationship?
- What might not actually be happening?
- What is likely to happen in my relationship if I continue thinking like this?
- What is unlikely to happen?
- What am I doing to help myself be the happiest and most balanced person possible?
- What am I doing to make sure I’m happy on my own outside of a romantic relationship?
- Which of my behaviors make me happy and which don’t?
- Which behaviors would I change to feel happier?
- What am I willing to do to work on my over thinking and insecurity?
The idea is to think carefully about the reasons behind the over thinking and do other things that lead you in a positive direction. You might consider giving yourself the gift of talking with a therapist so you can learn how to deal with these thoughts and feelings and celebrate how great you are. It’s a way of treating yourself well.
You get to decide how you behave in any relationship and how you take care of yourself. Remember that you deserve to feel secure about yourself and others and enjoy positive relationships. Take care.
