I want to break up with my bf of 2 years. I love him VERY much. He's great to me. BUT he doesn't go to the dentist, I have to remind him all the time to shave, cut his hair and nails, clean his ears, and he's pretty overweight. When I try to help him, he gets defensive and says he knows what he needs to do...but he hasn't done much. I feel if he doesn't know how to take care of HIMSELF, then he isn't ready to be in a relationship. It's hard, but is my reason valid? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide who you want to be with in a relationship and what’s acceptable behavior. It’s up to you to choose people that meet your needs and are a good fit for you. You might find it helpful to think about what you want in a relationship and ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • How do I want them to behave?
  • What are the qualities my significant other must have?
  • What things are negotiable?
  • What has worked in my current relationship and what hasn’t?
  • What would I do differently in the future?
  • What will I do when someone doesn’t fit my needs?

You can’t do anything about how other people behave, it’s up to them to fix themselves. What you can do is be with people who make you feel great and help you move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is a good match for you, cares about himself and cares about you. Take care.

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