My boyfriend and I will be making two years on January 21 (Next week) Since the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and kept on until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I chose to forgive him, I then cheated on him several times. I know I am not in love with him and I am pretty sure he is not in love with me. I find myself wishing or thinking of being single, I also find myself interested in other guys. How do I let go and why is it so hard for me to let go? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to let go of someone you’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes people hang on to each other because they’re stuck in a certain behavior pattern, they’re dependent on each other or they feel they won’t have another opportunity to find love.
The key to interrupting this cycle is to choose what’s best for you. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Think in terms of what you need to live a positive life and treat yourself well. You might even consider spending some time alone to find out who you are and celebrate the wonderful things about you. It’s like taking a deep breath after you’ve been underwater for a long time.
In a healthy relationship, the people involved value each other, behave in positive ways and really want to be with each other. It’s really difficult to keep a relationship going if one of the people doesn’t want to be in it. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Be brief and to the point and listen to him.
Remember that you get to decide what kind of relationship you want and who you want to be with. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way as well. Take care.
The Relationship Situation
i don’t feel as if I’m good enough for her, I’m just not good enough, but i love her more than anything, so when she realizes she can do better and she leaves for better, what do i do, i feel so distressed
The Relationship Advice
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s normal to wonder to what degree someone else likes you in a relationship. The key is to keep a balance between what you think might happen and what is actually happening.
You might find it helpful to take some time to make a list of the things that are going positively and negatively in the relationship. Ask yourself questions like, “What’s really going on in my relationship and what’s going on in my head?”
The idea in any relationship is to enjoy the time you have with the other person. You can do that by focusing on the positive things about you and her. The good news is that you can find balance within yourself. It takes practice but you can build your self-esteem so that you focus on the great things about you. The way to do that is to find out who you are. Do things you love, plan your future, hang out with friends, study, learn, exercise and do things that help you build yourself up.
The more you love yourself the easier it will be to love someone else without worries. Everyone deserves to feel secure and that feeling comes from within you. As you continue to discover who you are an do positive things you’ll find that you’re a wonderful person who deserves to love and be loved. Take care.
