I've been hanging out/casual dating this guy for a month now, and he's lead me to believe it was going somewhere and that he enjoyed spending time with me. We have a lot in common and I've told him already that I liked him. He went away on vacation, but kissed me before leaving, and while he was gone he kept telling me how excited he was to see me again. The day he got back he started ignoring my texts and messages on facebook out of no where. Any idea what could have prompted this? :( — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when someone’s behavior changes suddenly in a relationship and it’s difficult to tell what he’s thinking if he won’t talk with you. You might want to ask yourself a few questions to help you find your own answers:

  • What is his behavior telling me?
  • How do I want to be treated in a relationship?
  • What action would be appropriate for me to take based on his behavior?
  • What can I do to make sure I take care of myself and keep moving in a positive direction?
  • What’s worked so far, what hasn’t and what would I do differently?

Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll be able to decide what you want to do. If you’d like, you can offer to talk with him and then let it go. If he comes around, the two of you can talk; if not, you have the opportunity to move on and find someone who wants to spend time with you.

Don’t forget that, regardless of how he behaves, you’re still a wonderful person. You might find it helpful to focus your energy on building yourself up, doing things you love and treating yourself well. As you live a great life, you’ll attract great people who appreciate the real you. You’re worth it. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog  

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half months about 3 days ago, I'm 18 and he's 24. It was a short time, but I really do love him, but he got controlling and manipulative and it was just getting to be too much and too overbearing. I wrote him a note telling him how I felt about him and that I just couldn't be with him, changed my relationship status and picture on Facebook, etc. However, he is still "in a relationship" and talks to all my friends except me. What's his deal? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the best things you can do when dealing with a controlling or manipulative relationship is to put as much distance between you and the other person as possible. That means having no contact in any form because you realize that controlling and manipulative behavior can lead to a dangerous situation, including domestic violence.

The key is to treat yourself well and learn from your experience. Take some time to think about what you would do differently in the future so you don’t find yourself in a similar situation. If you’d like, give yourself the gift of seeing a therapist to get some ideas on how to avoid situations like these. It’s also beneficial to let go of the need to follow-up or worry about what he’s doing on Facebook or anywhere else. That’s part of the thinking and behavior that leads to finding yourself in a controlling relationship.

Please consider letting go completely and moving on with your life. Surround yourself with people you trust and keep them informed about what’s going on. Ask for help if you need it and make sure you’re safe. Remember that you deserve to move your life in a positive direction and focus your energy on people who treat you well. You’re worth it. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

Hey, met this guy through facebook. And, I live in the middle east and he lives in London. Ive mentioned that im going there to do my masters.And told him not to give up on me, just yet, i hve a yr and a half left. Before this even happend we’ve on the phone like once and twice, 2 yrs ago. And we’ve come again this valentines day and we’re talking only this time we’re getting to know each other. Can you guide me of questions to ask him? So, i get bored easily and et to know him more. Cos’ i wnt this to work. thank you!

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. One positive way to help a relationship grow is to communicate by asking open-ended questions. These are questions that encourage the other person to answer with something other than a yes or no. You might try some questions such as:

  • What are you thinking about our relationship?
  • What do you love doing?
  • What’s your passion in life?
  • What are your career plans?
  • What hobbies do you enjoy?

The idea is to ask him any question that you have a curiosity about and then listen to him without interrupting or directing the conversation, just listen. The more you listen to him the more you’ll learn about him. It will also help you build a relationship because you’ll get to know each other better. It’s also OK to share your thoughts and feelings with him.

In a healthy relationship, the people involved talk openly about things and enjoy learning about each other. Remember that you deserve a relationship with someone who wants to be with you and share his life with you. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

I saw that my boyfriend was talking on facebook and making plans with this girl he admitted he used to have feelings for, but now they are just friends. But he never told me I found the message on my own, I dont think he is cheatting. I just told him I would like to know if he is hanging out with other girls, and he just got mad — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide how you want to be treated in a relationship and whether you’re listening to your intuition.

You might want to gather more information before you reach a conclusion. Take some time to think about what you might want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Talk a few times and figure out if what he’s saying makes sense to you and matches his behavior. Listen closely and watch his reaction, you’ll eventually figure out what’s really going on because your intuition will tell you.

You get to decide what you do next. The general idea is to make sure you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to date people who respect you and tell you the truth. Take care.

After being together for 2 weeks, my bf has shown that he is really committed and very supportive. Although, today when i looked at his facebook, apparently a friend who is a girl is sleeping over his house. He never even told me about it. The thing is i dont know if i should be worried? I dont want to talk to him about it because i stalked his fb profile. I just dont know what to do? :S I dont think he realises he is in a relationship? Ugh.... ;( — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to watch your significant other’s behavior in a relationship. What they do know is likely what they’ll be like in the future. You might think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Ask him some brief questions and listen to him without interrupting or reacting negatively. Gather information from him before you draw a conclusion.

The key in a healthy relationship is for both people to know each other really well and communicate openly. Take some time to talk with him and learn about him and you won’t have to guess what’s going on. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is truthful and willing to commit to you exclusively. Take care.

i like this boy at college, we have been talked on facebook but we dont have the same schedule in college so i usually never see him, just in a few times and i say hi and nothing else, and really shy , but i dont know i he likes me too :( what can i do ? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. A positive way to build a relationship is to increase the amount of communication. You can talk with him any way you want, in person tends to be the most fulfilling.

It’s OK to be shy. Perhaps you might think about getting to know him as you would a friend. Hang out with him, ask him questions, tell him about yourself and learn about him. Take the pressure off yourself by just being friendly and spending time with him.

You don’t have to be perfect or act any certain way. It’s always beneficial to just be yourself. That way, if he likes you then he likes the real you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values who you really are and wants to spend time with you. Take care.

A guy added me on facebook last month through a mutual friend, & straight away he asked to take me out. I didn't really listen to him, but he kept on and I thought, wow hes actually trying to make an effort! Anyway, we met up & hit off. Been seeing him since. Recently his tone changed, he asked me to take pictures down of us, & when I asked why, he said cos his ex is giving him a hard time & that she'd just had an abortion. They split up last Sept. Is he taking me for a ride? Is he not over her? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to listen to your inner voice in a relationship, it’s the one telling you what’s really going on. If things feel strange then it usually signals that something is may not be quite right.

You might find it helpful to take some time to think about how you want to be treated in a relationship. Keep in mind that, in a healthy relationship, the people involved are fully there for each other and want to spend time together. They treat each other kindly and the behave positively.

It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking without asking him. You might consider talking calmly and kindly with him and asking him questions to clarify what he’s thinking. Listen to what he says and decide if it’s what you’re looking for in a relationship. Remember that it’s always a good idea to date people who are completely available and able to commit to you. You’re worth it. Take care.