i've been friends with this guy since we're classmates in college. he's been with the same girl ever since and when summer's almost over we became closer as friends. we started hanging out as what friends do nothing beyond that but as time passes by i started to like him. i tried to avoid him but it's hard because i don't want to ruin our friendship. what do i do? and it's also hard when he tells me he misses me. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you like someone and the relationship isn’t what you would like it to be. An important lesson in life is that it’s a good idea to have a relationship with someone who is fully available and able to spend time with you exclusively.

One positive thing you can do in a situation like this is to continue to build yourself up and be a wonderful person. Do things you love and hang out with other interesting people. Live a life that you’re proud of and that helps you show the world how great you are. As you live a fulfilling life, you’ll meet people who appreciate someone like you and want to date you.

It’s difficult to try to create a relationship when there are obstacles present at the very beginning. A more positive route is to find someone who is completely available and is a good fit for you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who can focus exclusively on you. You’re worth it. Take care. 

i caught my bf cheating on me for like 3 times. he told me that he realized that were not meant to be and we cool off for a month. he came back and he was asking for another chance to work things out in our relationship. coz i love him so,we tried to work things out. then last night i caught him cheating on me again. im so mad, i dont wanna talk to him but i love him tho. he told me that this will be the last time and hes gonna change. should i believe him? or im just stupid to accept him again? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to understand that love isn’t being with someone who hurts you repeatedly. It’s important in any relationship to let the other person know how you want to be treated. People treat you the way you let them treat you. You might consider what his behavior is telling you, think in terms of what it means when a person cheats repeatedly.

It’s important to listen to your inner voice. It’s the one telling you how to take care of yourself and what you need to look out for. You’re an important and valuable person and you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be with you exclusively and treats you wonderfully.

You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and what kind of person you want to be with. Take some time to think about what you need so that you can treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. You might even consider staying out of a romantic relationship so you can spend some time discovering how wonderful you are and enjoying your own company.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and is committed to you. You’re worth it. Take care.

So i've been hooking up with this guy that has a girl friend & it hasn't bothered me, mostly because we don't want a relationship together we just want to have sex. & he's been telling me he wants to break up with his gf but now out of no where he tells me were only going to do it one more time & then it's over because he feels bad. Idk what to say about it.. It kind of makes me angry. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the best ways to develop a lasting relationship is to make sure you’re with someone who is completely available. That means that they’re not dating someone else and they’re able to be there for you in every way. It’s impossible to get someone’s full commitment unless you are exclusively seeing each other.

Perhaps you might take some time to ask yourself a few questions about what’s been going on and what you want in the future such as:

  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • What behaviors are important to me in a relationship?
  • Which of my behaviors get me excellent results and which don’t?
  • How do I want to behave in a relationship so that I build positive relationships?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What is making me angry and how might the other people involved feel as well?
  • What am I doing to make sure I’m the healthiest and most balanced me possible?

It’s always a good idea in life to behave in ways that lead in a positive direction. In any relationship that would mean doing things that help you take care of yourself and others. The goal is to be kind to yourself and the people around you so that you live a happy life.

Remember that you deserve to have people in your life who care for you and value the real you. Take care.