Hi! So I was dating this guy for a while, and things seemed like they were going great. We had fun together, talked throughout the week, etc. Anyways, he invited me to a New Year's party and I said I would go. I was excited to see him and kiss him at midnight, but he pretty much stood me up. A few hours before the party, he stopped responding to my texts all together and we haven't talked since. Help! Did I do something wrong? Should I text/call him? Any advice would be great. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always important to pay close attention to how people behave in a relationship because it’s a sign of how they will behave in the future. His behavior has nothing to do with you, it’s just what he does. You can’t do anything to fix it or change it, only he can do that.

The only behavior you can control is yours and you get to decide what you’ll accept in a relationship. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. In a healthy relationship, the people treat each other with respect and don’t stand each other up. They’re there for each other and treat each other with kindness.

Take some time to think about what kind of relationship you deserve. Eventually you’ll arrive at a decision that works for you. Remember that you deserve to date people who are there for you and treat you wonderfully. Take care.

hey, ive been dating this guy for a few months now and I really like him. I just don't know how to be around him and his friends because hes a few years older than me.. plus I'm a virgin and he's not and I'm nervous about doing anything because I've been single for over a year. i feel like I've forgotten how to be in a relationship, please help :( — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide how you behave in any relationship. It’s always a good idea to be yourself and only do things you’re comfortable doing. A lot of people get into a lot of problems because they try to act like someone else or do things they don’t really want to do.

You might find it helpful to just keep getting to know this person. Hang out, talk about things, ask each other questions and listen to each other. The more you know about him the more you’ll know whether he’s a good fit for you. As you get to know one another you’ll also become more comfortable talking about all kinds of things, including how you feel about each other. The key is to just keep it friendly and positive and continue learning about him so you can make positive decisions.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone you know really well and who appreciates the great person you are. Take care.

im dating this guy he my first real long relantionship, next month is gonna be our one year, i lost my V to him & he met my family & we hang out everyday, his dad past away on our 9th month he says to me im the only thing that keeps him going & he always puts himself down, how ugly,fat,&dirty looking he is(he dark) & i start to see things that i dont like about him that it annoys me like the way he eats,sloppy & his body hurts alot, he only 20 & im 18, so far what do u think about my situation? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea for both people in a relationship to feel good about themselves first so that they can be there for each other. You can’t change how he feels about himself, he will need to work on that on his own, preferably with a therapist. He might consider finding a therapist he’s comfortable with and talking about his issues so he can heal and discover how great he is.

It’s up to you what you want to do and how you celebrate the wonderful things about you. You decide what kind of relationship you want to be in and with what type of person. Keep in mind that it’s beneficial to be in a relationship that helps you feel great and move your life in a positive direction. It’s hard to have a relationship where you take care of someone else because it leaves little or no time for you to take care of yourself.

You might want to take some time to think about what you need and what you want to say to your boyfriend. Then you can have some kind and calm conversations where you tell him what you need and listen to him. The idea is to learn about each other and figure out what your next step is. You might both think in terms of getting as healthy and balanced as possible on your own before continuing to build a relationship.

Remember that you both deserve to feel great about yourselves and be in a relationship that makes you happy. Take care.

So I've been dating this guy for about 4 years (on and off) and I went to a party and ended up cheating on him... with a girl who has a girlfriend. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do! He's not okay with me being with girls, he (rightfully) thinks that anyone counts as cheating. I feel so bad! I've never cheated before... that was my first time with a girl too and I've been confused about my sexuality for ages... ahhh what to do...? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s normal to wonder what you want in a relationship and who you want to date. Perhaps you could take some time to ask yourself a couple of questions such as:

  • Who do I want to be with?
  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • How do I want them to treat me?
  • What’s worked in my past relationships and what hasn’t?
  • What would I do differently in the future?
  • What are the qualities that I find important in a person I’m dating?
  • What am I doing to take care of myself and make sure I do the same for the other person?

It’s OK to not know exactly who you’re interested in or wonder about your sexuality. The general idea is to just get to know yourself well so that you can make decisions that reflect who you really are. Remember that you deserve to be in positive relationships with people who you want to be with the real you. Take care.

I've been dating this guy for about a month now and everything seems to be going great except I'm confused on where we stand. We aren't in an official relationship but we do things a couple would do. At first I didn't mind but it was recently that his mom introduced me to a friend as his gf, and it got me thinking. Plenty of peeople consider him my bf but we never talked about it and I sorta want more then just a fun buddy, so should I ask him about it or is it to soon and clingy? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea for the people in a relationship to both be on the same page but it takes time (many months or years) to develop a deeper relationship. It’s really up to you to decide what you want to do. If you’re OK just seeing how the relationship develops you can do that; if you need to define it then you can let him know what you need and ask him some kind and calm questions to get more information. Make sure  you listen to what he has to say.

It’s important to realize that not everyone may be feeling the same way in a relationship one month into it or need to define it in any way. That doesn’t mean that you both can’t enjoy each other’s company and keep getting to know one another over time. You get to decide whether you’re happy just enjoying his company or you need to define it. Once you decide what you want to do, tell him calmly and kindly and listen to what he says. Then you can decide if it fits your needs.

You might think about the positives and negatives of asking or not asking. You also can’t control what he’s feeling or how he’ll respond. Don’t forget that you deserve a relationship where the other person feels the same way about you as you do about them. Take care.