Okay so basically I really really like this guy we have talked a lot I chatted with the first time with a legit question and we talked for 2 and a half hours and then 2 days after that I chatted him again and we talked for an hour cause I had to go I asked him for his number and he was like joking I can give you the wrong number and you'd never know but then he was like what's yours than gave me his, what should my next course of action be? Should I text him or wait for him to contact me? — muddiness

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you what you do, the important thing is to just move at whatever speed you’re comfortable with and make sure you take care of yourself.

It’s OK to contact him if you’re interested. You don’t have to say anything complicated, just something like you’d like to hang out. It’s also a good idea to meet new people in a group; takes some of the pressure off and it’s safer. Make sure to move at your own pace and in a positive direction. If he says yes, that’s great; if not, then you’re still a wonderful person and you can focus on other people.

It’s always a good idea to get to know someone well before you decide if they’re right for you. Spend time with him and talk with him many times so you can figure out what kind of person he is. Once you have more information you can decide what kind of relationship you want. Remember that you deserve to date someone who treats you well and values who you are. Take care.

I had a long distance relationship with my ex for 2 and a half month. He broke up with me and I miss him. I told him to delete my # me off skype everything cause I was so upset at the time. 12 days after the breakup I send him a message saying basically i'm sorry it didn't work out and your right I hope we can be just friends. and I sent him a fb request . He never responded. It's been 2 month and we haven't talked? I miss him want him 2 want me back. I want 2 call him but I don't want pathetic — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up but you have control over what you decide to do with your life. Perhaps you might ask yourself a couple of questions to clarify things:

  • What are the reasons I want him back?
  • What are the reasons I’m trying to contact him?
  • What messages are his actions sending me?
  • What can I do to move on?
  • What can I do to celebrate who I am?
  • What can I do to feel great about myself without a significant other?
  • What can I learn from this experience so I won’t repeat it in the future?
  • What can I do to take care of myself?

Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll start the process of figuring out what’s best for you. One of the most difficult lessons in life is how to move on when someone is sending us clear signals that the relationship is over.

You have a lot of power to do anything you want. You can focus on being the healthiest and most balanced you possible or you can do things that bring you down. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Take care.

I just came out of a very long, very messy off-and-on breakup with the man I thought I was going to marry. I still think about him all the time and worry about him and I miss him intensely. I want to tell him that but I don't want to restart the cycle of getting together and breaking up again. I think its best though that I don't contact him, even if I want to, especially for something that can't help. Do you agree or am I rationalizing? Heh, I guess I just need some reinforcement. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up but you now have a chance to take a deep breath and do some thinking. It’s important to follow your inner voice. It’s the one that tells you what will most likely lead you in a positive direction. You might think in terms of taking a break and getting to know yourself before doing anything else. Do things you love and spend time with your friends. Work on being the healthiest and most balanced you possible.

The idea is to take care of yourself and gain some perspective on what you really want to do in life and in relationships. You might do some thinking as well about what you would do differently in the future so that you don’t repeat the same patterns. You can also ponder what kind of person you want to be with and how you want to be treated.

Remember that you’re a valuable person and you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who will be a stable and reassuring influence in your life. Take care.