I started dating this guy two weeks ago, but, I've been having second thoughts... he's nice, good looking, interesting, fun to be around. I'm not used to being in a relationship, and got out of a year relationship about four months ago. So I'm not sure if that's it, or if he isn't meant for me. We haven't got to see each other very much either because I am always working or at college. I get more of a friend vibe from him at the moment. I'm so confused on what to actually do about this. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a positive idea to be really clear an honest about where you feel a relationship is headed. That way you and the other person can either work on things or move on.
You might find it helpful to take some time to think about what’s important to you, what kind of relationship you want and what kind of person you want to be with. Once you decide what’s best for you, talk calmly and kindly with him. Let him know how you feel and listen to what he says. The idea is to talk about things openly and kindly so nobody has to guess what’s going on.
Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that makes sense to you and is a good fit for both people. Take care.
Relationship Advice Blog
I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years last week. I definately made the right decision, I had to do what was best for me because I felt like he didn't care anymore. The only thing is, I don't feel that sad, and I can see he's so depressed about it. I feel guilty that I don't actually feel sad about it. I get little pangs every now and again but nothing huge. Is there something wrong with me? :/ — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to feel whatever you feel in any relationship or after a break up. It’s normal to feel guilty or sad when someone is hurt. Any feelings of hurt, sadness or guilt usually lessen over time for both people. Also keep in mind that it’s fine for you to be kind to him or talk with him if you want, as long as it’s clear that you’re there as a friend.
It’s OK to take care of yourself and find a positive relationship that works for you. In the end, it’s also better for the other person because they can find someone who is compatible with them. Remember that you deserve to have confidence in your decisions and date people who are a good fit for you. Take care.
My bf dated my best friend and they broke up for no reason, he says he doesn't know what happened. I think he is still in love with her. He told me he would always love her but that he loves me too. She was his first love. I want him to talk to her privately so they can talk things out, so I can feel confident that he is over her, I can't feel good about dating him until I know they have closure. He loves me, but they never truly ended things. Help? How do I talk to him about this? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s a good idea to be open and clear with him about what you’re thinking. Let him know calmly and kindly what is important to you and what you want to happen. Make sure to listen to him without reacting or interrupting so you can figure out what he’s thinking. You can’t do anything to make him do something, that’s up to him, but you can let him know what you need.
Pay close attention as well to his behavior because what’s going on now is likely to happen again in the future. The idea is to make sure you take care of yourself and make decisions that lead in a positive direction.
It’s appropriate to make sure that someone is fully available before trying to be in their lives romantically. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is completely there for you. Take care.
