So is the correct thing to tell your boyfriend that you cheated on him with your bestfriend? (I completely regret what I did.) — Anonymous

Thank you for your question. It’s always a good idea to behave positively and communicate openly in a relationship. The key is to build your relationship to the point where you can talk calmly and kindly about any issue that comes up.

It’s also beneficial to learn from past experience. You might want to take some time to think about what worked and what didn’t and decide what you’d do differently in the future. Remember that you deserve to have fulfilling, meaningful relationships. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

I’m in love for the first time with an incredible man. For a while I have been struggling with bisexuality and haven’t been handling some things well. I cheated on him after a few weeks of dating while I was drunk with a girl and we worked everything out but it took quite a few months and I felt so horrible. But somehow I’m stupid and cheated on him with the first girl I ever liked. I told him we just kissed but she also did something sexual to me. I didn’t enjoy myself and haven’t talked to her since and don’t plan to. Ever. I hurt him so much the first time and I don’t want to lose him. We are perfect together. Is if selfish of me to alter the story of what happened a little bit and not tell him everything so I don’t hurt him again? I am so confident in myself that nothing like this will ever happen again because I am so happy with him. I just need someone to tell me I did the right thing.

The Relationship Advice 

Thank you for sharing your situation. In a healthy relationship, both people communicate openly and tell each other the truth. Otherwise the relationship is based on something other than the truth, which doesn’t tend to lead in a positive direction.

Perhaps you might take some time to think about your behavior pattern up to this moment and ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • What have I done that worked well?
  • What have I done that didn’t work well?
  • What would I do differently?
  • What work am I doing to change my behavior pattern?
  • What kind of decisions can I make to move my life in a positive direction?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What can I do to make sure I treat any significant other well?
  • What do I know deep inside I should do?

You get to decide what you do in any relationship. It’s always a good idea to be as open and honest as possible because it leads to enjoying a positive relationship and living a great life. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk calmly and kindly with him. Make sure to listen to his perspective as well and be there for him.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both people talk openly with each other and work together to fix things. Take care.

I was set up on a blind date and it went perfect. He and i have an insane amount of things in common and things were going well for for the first 3-4 weeks he then told me he loved me and it scared him because of how his marriage ended a year and a half ago. She supposedly cheated on him with a younger man and it ended badly. A few days after he told me he loved me he wanted "space" to deal with his emotional issues. Do you think that was his easy way out to blow me off? What does"space" mean? — ashleyisacraftygirl

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always important to pay close attention to what people say and do in a relationship. He’s telling you some very specific things and behaving in ways that mean something. You get to decide what you do to take care of yourself and move your life in a positive direction.

You might find it helpful to think about what he might be trying to tell you. For example: In a healthy relationship people are emotionally available for each other and want to spend time together. What is his behavior telling you?

It’s always a good idea to date people who are fully available. That means that they’re ready to have a relationship with you and devote their time and energy to making it work. Take some time to think about what’s best for you and how you want to be treated. Don’t forget to listen to your intuition, it’s telling you what’s really going on.

Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is there for you exclusively and treats you the way you want to be treated. You’re worth it. Take care.

My boyfriend and I will be making two years on January 21 (Next week) Since the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and kept on until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I chose to forgive him, I then cheated on him several times. I know I am not in love with him and I am pretty sure he is not in love with me. I find myself wishing or thinking of being single, I also find myself interested in other guys. How do I let go and why is it so hard for me to let go? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to let go of someone you’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes people hang on to each other because they’re stuck in a certain behavior pattern, they’re dependent on each other or they feel they won’t have another opportunity to find love.

The key to interrupting this cycle is to choose what’s best for you. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Think in terms of what you need to live a positive life and treat yourself well. You might even consider spending some time alone to find out who you are and celebrate the wonderful things about you. It’s like taking a deep breath after you’ve been underwater for a long time.

In a healthy relationship, the people involved value each other, behave in positive ways and really want to be with each other. It’s really difficult to keep a relationship going if one of the people doesn’t want to be in it. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Be brief and to the point and listen to him.

Remember that you get to decide what kind of relationship you want and who you want to be with. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way as well. Take care.

So I've been dating this guy for about 4 years (on and off) and I went to a party and ended up cheating on him... with a girl who has a girlfriend. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do! He's not okay with me being with girls, he (rightfully) thinks that anyone counts as cheating. I feel so bad! I've never cheated before... that was my first time with a girl too and I've been confused about my sexuality for ages... ahhh what to do...? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s normal to wonder what you want in a relationship and who you want to date. Perhaps you could take some time to ask yourself a couple of questions such as:

  • Who do I want to be with?
  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • How do I want them to treat me?
  • What’s worked in my past relationships and what hasn’t?
  • What would I do differently in the future?
  • What are the qualities that I find important in a person I’m dating?
  • What am I doing to take care of myself and make sure I do the same for the other person?

It’s OK to not know exactly who you’re interested in or wonder about your sexuality. The general idea is to just get to know yourself well so that you can make decisions that reflect who you really are. Remember that you deserve to be in positive relationships with people who you want to be with the real you. Take care.