So me and my boyfriend of 6 months just broke up and of course I'm hurting real bad. We're both college freshman from the same state, different town. He was such a nice caring guy in the beginning of our relationship and turned into a complete jerk. We fought constantly and i find it hard to play it off when he's all over social networks saying how much of a good time he's having, I can't bring myself to be like that. Is he even hurting? He said he wanted to work things out but not right now. — srp11

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up in a relationship. One beneficial thing you can do is make sure that you treat yourself well and help yourself heal. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you love doing in life and what you can do to build yourself up without a significant other. Think about what worked and what didn’t in your relationship as well as what you might do differently in the future.

You can’t do anything about what he’s thinking and feeling but you can make sure that you celebrate how great you are and keep moving your life in a positive direction. Consider talking and hanging out with trusted people and meeting new and interesting individuals. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates how great you are, treats you well and wants to spend time with you. You’re that important. Take care.

i've been friends with this guy since we're classmates in college. he's been with the same girl ever since and when summer's almost over we became closer as friends. we started hanging out as what friends do nothing beyond that but as time passes by i started to like him. i tried to avoid him but it's hard because i don't want to ruin our friendship. what do i do? and it's also hard when he tells me he misses me. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you like someone and the relationship isn’t what you would like it to be. An important lesson in life is that it’s a good idea to have a relationship with someone who is fully available and able to spend time with you exclusively.

One positive thing you can do in a situation like this is to continue to build yourself up and be a wonderful person. Do things you love and hang out with other interesting people. Live a life that you’re proud of and that helps you show the world how great you are. As you live a fulfilling life, you’ll meet people who appreciate someone like you and want to date you.

It’s difficult to try to create a relationship when there are obstacles present at the very beginning. A more positive route is to find someone who is completely available and is a good fit for you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who can focus exclusively on you. You’re worth it. Take care. 

I'm a girl and I use to be in a relationship, but I started having feelings for another friend of mine so I thought the right thing to do would be to break up with my girlfriend. The person I ended up crushing on flirts with me a lot and I'm insane about them, but just a few weeks, they entered a relationship with someone else. I'm heartbroken and I'm trying so hard to move on so I accidentally force my feelings onto my ex-girlfriend. I want to move on from them both, but it's really hard. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when a relationship ends. You get to decide what you do next and you have a lot of choices. For example, you might:

  • Take some time to celebrate who you are. Do things you love and build yourself up without a significant other.
  • Think about what worked in the past and what didn’t and decide what you might do differently in the future to build healthy relationships.
  • Think about what kind of relationship you want.
  • Think about what kind of person you want to be with.
  • Do things to take care of yourself and heal.
  • Ask yourself what you’ve learned so far and how you might apply it to your life.

It’s often a good idea to step back a little and take a breath when you’re in the middle of a difficult relationship situation. Take some time to think about what’s best for you and what you might do to treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. 

Remember that you deserve to take time to heal and learn from your past experiences. You’re worth it. Take care. 

hey, ive recently broke up with my ex- bf. And its been 2 days now. That we broke up, what the best way to deal with break-ups? And how can you forget bot your past relationship? Thank you for your time. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up in a relationship. Two of the things that help heal the hurt are:

  1. Time.
  2. Focusing on yourself and living a great life. 

It’s natural to feel any number of emotions during a break up including sadness and anger. The key is to experience whatever comes your way and realize it’s a normal part of going through a break up. You might consider taking some time to heal and take care of yourself. Do things you love, study, hang out with friends, make new ones, make a list of all the wonderful things about you and display it where you can see it, plan your future and exercise.

The more you do to build yourself up and enjoy life, the better you’ll feel. Keep in mind along the way that you’re a great person who deserves to live a great life with or without a significant other. Take care.

Hi, I got a situation that I think I am falling for a really good friend of mine. I know her over couple years, only two years apart, and even though live about 4-6 hours apart. I drive all the way there just to see her. She have been on a few bad relationship and think bad of herself. I Love this girl to death as a friend and I really want to tell her that she not worthless and I want to show her that there guys out there that will love to be with her. any advice? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you care for someone in a relationship and you want to help them feel better. The difficulty is that only they can increase their self-esteem, not you. It’s a long process that takes a lot of hard work, preferably with a therapist.

You can be supportive and encourage the person to get help but it’s very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn’t feel good about themselves. That’s not because there’s anything wrong with them, it’s just that they need to do some work on their own to fix things.

You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you really want and with what kind of person. Consider what would help you treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. In a healthy relationship, both people feel great and then add to each other’s lives. There’s nothing that says you can’t be friends, just keep in mind that the way she behaves right now is likely to be how she behaves in the future unless she decides to seek help.

In the meantime, make sure you do things to feel great about yourself and build yourself up outside this relationship. Be the happiest and healthiest you possible and live a great life. Remember that you deserve to have a relationship with someone who is healthy and can support you as much as you support them. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

i don’t feel as if I’m good enough for her, I’m just not good enough, but i love her more than anything, so when she realizes she can do better and she leaves for better, what do i do, i feel so distressed

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s normal to wonder to what degree someone else likes you in a relationship. The key is to keep a balance between what you think might happen and what is actually happening.

You might find it helpful to take some time to make a list of the things that are going positively and negatively in the relationship. Ask yourself questions like, “What’s really going on in my relationship and what’s going on in my head?”

The idea in any relationship is to enjoy the time you have with the other person. You can do that by focusing on the positive things about you and her. The good news is that you can find balance within yourself. It takes practice but you can build your self-esteem so that you focus on the great things about you. The way to do that is to find out who you are. Do things you love, plan your future, hang out with friends, study, learn, exercise and do things that help you build yourself up.

The more you love yourself the easier it will be to love someone else without worries. Everyone deserves to feel secure and that feeling comes from within you. As you continue to discover who you are an do positive things you’ll find that you’re a wonderful person who deserves to love and be loved. Take care.

Help me. I've been in a wonderful relationship with the person I love for over a year now. But it's begun to fall apart. We are fighting a lot more than usual. And it's due to my horrible jealously problem. I do everything in my power to make it stop. I try just not caring about his other female friends. But then when one of them invite him to a party or something of that nature, I get so upset I can't help it. We've talked about my problem, but still no improvement. Help!!! — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. Jealousy is about the person feeling it. It usually comes from feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem (that somehow you don’t measure up). The only way to get rid of it is to boost your self-esteem so that you can enjoy your relationship and life in general.

One of the best ways to boost your self-esteem is to build yourself up by doing some things such as:

  • Participating in activities you love doing.
  • Studying and building up your brain.
  • Exercising.
  • Hanging out with friends.
  • Talking with a therapist.
  • Planning your life.
  • Making a list of all the great things about you and putting it somewhere where you can see it.
  • Living the healthiest and most balanced life you can before getting into a relationship.
  • Focusing on learning about yourself and what brings you fulfillment.

As you build yourself up you’ll find that you see things from a different perspective. Everything seems more positive because you’re living that type of life. The stronger you get, the less jealousy you experience.

You might find it helpful to take some time to figure out who you are and what brings you joy in life (aside from romantic relationships). Celebrate who you are and enjoy your own company. Do things that make you happy to be you. You’re an amazing person who deserves to enjoy life to its fullest without the clouds of jealousy. Take care.