The Relationship Situation

I’m in love for the first time with an incredible man. For a while I have been struggling with bisexuality and haven’t been handling some things well. I cheated on him after a few weeks of dating while I was drunk with a girl and we worked everything out but it took quite a few months and I felt so horrible. But somehow I’m stupid and cheated on him with the first girl I ever liked. I told him we just kissed but she also did something sexual to me. I didn’t enjoy myself and haven’t talked to her since and don’t plan to. Ever. I hurt him so much the first time and I don’t want to lose him. We are perfect together. Is if selfish of me to alter the story of what happened a little bit and not tell him everything so I don’t hurt him again? I am so confident in myself that nothing like this will ever happen again because I am so happy with him. I just need someone to tell me I did the right thing.

The Relationship Advice 

Thank you for sharing your situation. In a healthy relationship, both people communicate openly and tell each other the truth. Otherwise the relationship is based on something other than the truth, which doesn’t tend to lead in a positive direction.

Perhaps you might take some time to think about your behavior pattern up to this moment and ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • What have I done that worked well?
  • What have I done that didn’t work well?
  • What would I do differently?
  • What work am I doing to change my behavior pattern?
  • What kind of decisions can I make to move my life in a positive direction?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What can I do to make sure I treat any significant other well?
  • What do I know deep inside I should do?

You get to decide what you do in any relationship. It’s always a good idea to be as open and honest as possible because it leads to enjoying a positive relationship and living a great life. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk calmly and kindly with him. Make sure to listen to his perspective as well and be there for him.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both people talk openly with each other and work together to fix things. Take care.

My boyfriend and I will be making two years on January 21 (Next week) Since the beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and kept on until about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I chose to forgive him, I then cheated on him several times. I know I am not in love with him and I am pretty sure he is not in love with me. I find myself wishing or thinking of being single, I also find myself interested in other guys. How do I let go and why is it so hard for me to let go? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to let go of someone you’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes people hang on to each other because they’re stuck in a certain behavior pattern, they’re dependent on each other or they feel they won’t have another opportunity to find love.

The key to interrupting this cycle is to choose what’s best for you. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. Think in terms of what you need to live a positive life and treat yourself well. You might even consider spending some time alone to find out who you are and celebrate the wonderful things about you. It’s like taking a deep breath after you’ve been underwater for a long time.

In a healthy relationship, the people involved value each other, behave in positive ways and really want to be with each other. It’s really difficult to keep a relationship going if one of the people doesn’t want to be in it. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Be brief and to the point and listen to him.

Remember that you get to decide what kind of relationship you want and who you want to be with. Don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way as well. Take care.