I met this guy back in September and we became very close very fast. He cheated on her with me. He apologized a thousand times because he loves his girlfriend, but things became awkward. I used to be depressed and still have pieces of that with me, so it's really hard for me to come up and talk. He usually avoids deep conversations, but lately he's been trying to get me to spill it the beans. He knows I like him, but I don't know how to approach him anymore. What should I do? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what you want to do in any relationship and it’s also a good idea to pay attention to how the other person behaves. The way he acts now is likely to be how he acts in the future. The only person’s behavior you have control over is yours.

The general idea is to make sure you behave in ways that help you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. You might take some time to think about what’s worked so far, what hasn’t and what you would do differently. Then you can have some calm and kind conversations with him, ask each other questions and listen to one another.

You might also consider making sure you’re as healthy and balanced as possible so you can make decisions you’re happy with. Pay attention to yourself and build yourself up before worrying about a significant other. The healthier you are, the more positive your relationships will be. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you exclusively, communicates openly and treats you wonderfully. Take care.

I am in a long term relationship and my boyfriend is constantly saying things like ' Babe I'm so bored of life' ' I wish my life was more exciting, I feel so dead and bored all the time' I feel like I'm in a rut' I feel as if I'm not doing enough as a girlfriend to make life less boring for him, do you have any suggestions as to how I can make things more 'fun' and 'exciting? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You can’t do anything about what someone else thinks or does in a relationship. The only person’s behavior you can affect is yours. That gives you the opportunity to behave any way you want.

Perhaps you might think of what you need in a relationship and what you want to do to live a great life. Focus on the things you can do to treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. Help him by setting an example of what it’s like to live an energized and rewarding life and invite him to join you.

It’s up to him whether he decides to take action and improve his situation. You might also consider having some calm and kind conversations about what’s going on and how you feel. Listen to each other and learn about each other’s points of view. The more the two of you talk about what’s going on, the easier it will be to decide what you want to do next.

Remember that you both deserve to be with someone who is there for you and helps you grow and succeed. Take care.

I've been with my boyfriend for about a month and I really like him but I'm always first to talk or to text him ect, it makes me feel like I annoy him. He's been talking to me less and less recently, I feel like he's loosing intrest in me. What can I do to keep us together? Thanks x — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide what you need in a relationship and what behavior you find acceptable. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you would like to ask him or tell him and then talk with him calmly and kindly.

Keep it brief and friendly and make sure to listen to what he says without interrupting or reacting negatively. Have several conversations where you learn more about him. The more you get to know him, the easier it will be for you to decide what to do. You might even consider working together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Remember that you both deserve to be with someone who meets your needs, treats you well and communicates openly. Take care.

In your opinion/experience, if a guy cheats on his current girl, and goes to be with the girl he cheated with, what are the chances of him cheating on her too? I was the other woman with my boyfriend, and now we are both in love with each other but they say once a cheater always a cheater and I know what I did wasn't right but I don't want to be cheated on. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing you situation. The best predictor of future behavior in a relationship is past behavior. That means that it’s a good idea to make sure you’re with someone who behaves in a positive way and that you do the same.

That doesn’t mean people can’t change, they can, it just takes a long time (months to years) to modify one’s current behavior. The good news is that you can evaluate your own behavior and decide what you want to do to treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. You might want to take some time to think of what’s worked for you in the past, what hasn’t and what you would like to do differently.

Remember that you deserve to be in meaningful, fulfilling relationships with people who will treat you wonderfully. Take care.

I had a big break-up 2 years ago and i still love my ex but my best friend does too.I asked him if he still had feelings for me and he said no sorry so then i said then i will help you with my best friend because he sort of likes her nowthey are a couple (because of me ) and i am depressed!!! please help me — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the biggest lessons in a relationship is that you can’t do anything about how someone else feels. The only person’s behavior you can affect is yours. That means that you can do things to take care of yourself and learn from your past experiences.

You might find it helpful to ask yourself a few questions to decide what you want to do next, such as:

  • What am I doing to take care of myself?
  • What am I doing to make sure I’m living a great life?
  • What am I doing to plan my future?
  • What am I doing to build myself up and feel great about myself without a significant other?
  • What can i learn from my past experiences? What worked, what didn’t and what might I do differently?

Keep in mind that you’re a valuable person who deserves to be treated wonderfully. It’s OK to take care of yourself and find someone who is willing to commit to you and wants to spend time with you. You’re that important. Take care.

The Relationship Situation

I’m in love for the first time with an incredible man. For a while I have been struggling with bisexuality and haven’t been handling some things well. I cheated on him after a few weeks of dating while I was drunk with a girl and we worked everything out but it took quite a few months and I felt so horrible. But somehow I’m stupid and cheated on him with the first girl I ever liked. I told him we just kissed but she also did something sexual to me. I didn’t enjoy myself and haven’t talked to her since and don’t plan to. Ever. I hurt him so much the first time and I don’t want to lose him. We are perfect together. Is if selfish of me to alter the story of what happened a little bit and not tell him everything so I don’t hurt him again? I am so confident in myself that nothing like this will ever happen again because I am so happy with him. I just need someone to tell me I did the right thing.

The Relationship Advice 

Thank you for sharing your situation. In a healthy relationship, both people communicate openly and tell each other the truth. Otherwise the relationship is based on something other than the truth, which doesn’t tend to lead in a positive direction.

Perhaps you might take some time to think about your behavior pattern up to this moment and ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • What have I done that worked well?
  • What have I done that didn’t work well?
  • What would I do differently?
  • What work am I doing to change my behavior pattern?
  • What kind of decisions can I make to move my life in a positive direction?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What can I do to make sure I treat any significant other well?
  • What do I know deep inside I should do?

You get to decide what you do in any relationship. It’s always a good idea to be as open and honest as possible because it leads to enjoying a positive relationship and living a great life. Take some time to think about what you want to do and then talk calmly and kindly with him. Make sure to listen to his perspective as well and be there for him.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where both people talk openly with each other and work together to fix things. Take care.

After being together for 2 weeks, my bf has shown that he is really committed and very supportive. Although, today when i looked at his facebook, apparently a friend who is a girl is sleeping over his house. He never even told me about it. The thing is i dont know if i should be worried? I dont want to talk to him about it because i stalked his fb profile. I just dont know what to do? :S I dont think he realises he is in a relationship? Ugh.... ;( — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to watch your significant other’s behavior in a relationship. What they do know is likely what they’ll be like in the future. You might think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Ask him some brief questions and listen to him without interrupting or reacting negatively. Gather information from him before you draw a conclusion.

The key in a healthy relationship is for both people to know each other really well and communicate openly. Take some time to talk with him and learn about him and you won’t have to guess what’s going on. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is truthful and willing to commit to you exclusively. Take care.