My fiance's from a really big, loud Irish family that loves to party. Unfortunately I'm more the quiet, straight edge, wallflower type and whenever I'm around his family I feel REALLY out of place. I want to make a good impression because I'm going to be a part of his family soon, but I don't know how without pretending to be someone completely different. Is it ok to fake who you are in a situation like that, cause if I don't, I might as well be invisible. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. The only person you need to be in a relationship is you. That means that you get to behave the way you think is appropriate. It’s also OK to ask others to treat you the way you want to be treated.
It’s normal to feel out of place with people who behave differently than you do. The good news is that you don’t have to be anyone else but yourself and you don’t have to act like them. If they like you that’s good; if they don’t, then you’re still the same wonderful person you’ve always been.
You can’t change how other people think or behave but you can make sure you behave in ways that help you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Keep in mind that you can’t build a real relationship if you’re not being the real you.
A healthy relationship is when the other person (and family) like you, not someone else. Remember that you deserve to celebrate who you are and just be yourself. You’re that important. Take care.
