Any advice for a long distance relationship??? I need help — Anonymous

Thank you for your question. It’s hard to keep a long distance relationship going because you’re not with each other in person. One thing that you might find helpful is to keep the relationship going in other ways such as talking with each other often, sharing what’s going on in your lives and listening to each other. Ask each other questions and keep learning about each other. Share your thoughts and feelings.

The idea is to stay in each other’s lives and be there for each other. It takes some work but you can keep building the relationship. Over time you’ll figure out what works for both of you. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is there for you and will work on keeping things going in a positive direction. Take care.

I'm thinking a head a lot. But near the end of this year, my boyfriend will be joining the RAF Police. I will still be doing my final year of college. I know he will be away more than he will be with me. I love him so much, I don't know what I'm going to do without him. Even not seeing him for a few days kills me. Is this something I am just going to have to cope with? Can you give me any advice on pursuing a long distance relationship? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to be away from someone you love. One positive way to keep the relationship going is to continue talking often. Tell each other what’s going on and share your thoughts and feelings. Be there for each other and talk about everything.

The key is to just stay in each other’s lives and keep growing and learning together. Another coping strategy you might consider is to continue to focus on your life as well. Keep studying and being the healthiest, most balanced person you can be. Hang out with friends and make new ones if you’d like. Talk to interesting people and do things you enjoy.

As with any new or different experience, it takes time to settle into a new routine. Stay on a positive course and you’ll adapt in time. Remember that you deserve to treat yourself well with or without someone in your life. Take care.

So I've went on one date with this guy. We know each other from work, but I have left the company so shortly after that we had a real first date. However, stuff went down on his side. He told me that someone that he never thought he would see again showed up on his doorstep and now he needs "to think some things over without any influence from other people." I am trying to give him his space, but I'm running onto a month of barely talking to him. What do I do? Wait, move on, question him? Thx. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. People show you who they are through their actions. You might want to pay close attention to his behaviors because they’re sending you a signal. In a healthy relationship, people want to spend time with each other and be there for each other. Listen to your inner voice, it’s the one that helps you take care of yourself.

You get to decide what you do in this situation. You might want to take some time to think about what his behaviors mean and how you want to be treated in a relationship. You also have an opportunity to spend some time doing things you love and building yourself up. The idea is to always treat yourself well and move in a positive direction.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is there for you and wants to spend time with you. You’re worth it. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog

me and my bf have been together for almost 4 years. we have a child together and lately i hardly ever see him. hes always out with his friends or doing something by hisself. i can never go anywhere with him. my question is how can i get him to spend more time w me and communicate better? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. In any relationship, it’s important for people to be there for each other. You get to decide what you need in the relationship and one of the best ways to let him know is to talk openly with him.

The key is to talk about difficult issues in a way that doesn’t make them more difficult. You can do that by talking calmly and kindly. Let him know what you need and do it in a gentle and caring way. Keep it brief and to the point. Then make sure you listen to what he says. Listen without interrupting or reacting negatively in any way. Just listen.

You can’t do anything about how he reacts but you can gather information so you can figure out what’s best for you. Pay close attention to his behavior because the way he behaves now is likely to be the way he behaves in the future unless he decides to change it.

You might find it helpful to do some careful thinking about what you want to tell him and what’s important to you. Pick one or two of the most important topics and talk with him about those. Do it when you’re both calm rather than when you’re in the middle of a difficult situation.

The idea is to start communicating openly with each other and telling each other what you need. After you talk with him a few times, you’ll have a better idea of what you need to do. Remember that you’re a valuable person who deserves to be with someone who is there for you and appreciates your point of view. Take care.

Relationship Advice Blog