I've been with my boyfriend for about a month and I really like him but I'm always first to talk or to text him ect, it makes me feel like I annoy him. He's been talking to me less and less recently, I feel like he's loosing intrest in me. What can I do to keep us together? Thanks x — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide what you need in a relationship and what behavior you find acceptable. Perhaps you might take some time to think about what you would like to ask him or tell him and then talk with him calmly and kindly.

Keep it brief and friendly and make sure to listen to what he says without interrupting or reacting negatively. Have several conversations where you learn more about him. The more you get to know him, the easier it will be for you to decide what to do. You might even consider working together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Remember that you both deserve to be with someone who meets your needs, treats you well and communicates openly. Take care.

I've liked this guy ever since we started to get serious a little over a year ago. While we were talking, he stopped talking to me for another girl whom he is currently dating - for a year, so far. Since we've stopped talking, we've hung out with with our mutual best friend and every time he's flirted with me like the girlfriend doesn't exist. i didn't even know he was still with her but i kept my distance anyway. Our friend even said that we look good together. I don't know what to think.. — hackysackthat

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what you want to do in any relationship and how you want to be treated. You might want to take some time to think about what’s worked, what hasn’t and what you would like to ask him about and then talk calmly and kindly with him. Ask him questions, listen to him and let him know what you think and feel as well.

Make sure to pay attention to whether his actions match his words because, the way he behaves now is likely to be how he acts in the future. It’s up to you to decide if his behavior is acceptable to you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who behaves well, wants to be with you exclusively and treats you with respect. Take care.

I have been talking to someone for over a year now. I have never been "with" someone for this long. He is extremely important to me and i can honestly say that i do love him. But we are not in a relationship. I have noticed that when things seem to be going well, he finds a fault in something or makes one that doesn't exist. It almost seems as though as he is pushing me away. Now i know he does not want me away but how do i explain this phenomena? — stelsmoral

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to get to know someone really well in a relationship so you don’t have to guess what’s going on. A positive way to do this is to talk calmly and kindly with him.

You might consider thinking about what you want to ask him and then talking with him. Listen to what he says and decide if it makes sense to you. Have several conversations and learn about each other. The more you know about him, the easier it will be for you to decide what you want to do next.

It’s also beneficial to pay attention to how he behaves because the things he does now are likely to be how he acts in the future. Remember that you get to decide what you want in a relationship and how you want to be treated. You’re that important. Take care.

The guy I like told me he still really likes me but he doesn't like me as much anymore (what does that mean?) and has been left me hanging for ages. He is the shy type and doesn't really make the move whatsoever, he's only ever put his arm around me, yet we have liked eachother for 6 months now. I don't understand, I really want something to happen with him, just something, but he wont do anything. I don't want to move because he said he doesnt like me as much anymore. HELP — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to tell what someone else is thinking in a relationship unless you ask them directly. You might want to take some time to think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Listen to what he says without interrupting and learn about his perspective.

The idea is to gather information so you can decide what you want to do next. It’s also OK for you to let him know what you’re thinking and feeling as well as what you need in the relationship. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you, communicates openly and treats you well. Take care.

I'e been with my boyfriend 9 months & we have sex regular but last night he just stopped in the middle of us having it & said he doesn't think I put enough effort into it. I always try to make him satisfied in bed but it seems like I'm not good enough. I wondered what I could do to make it better for him as I know he loves me because he tells me all the time, it's just I think he wants a relationship with great sex & I can't fault him for that, I just don't want him to think I'm crap in bed. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the best ways to deal with any issue in a relationship is to talk openly about things. You might want to ask him some questions such as:

  • What do you mean when you say _____?
  • What do you like?
  • What does a good sex life mean to you?

Listen closely to the answers and then decide if the way he’s thinking and behaving are a good fit for you. Remember that it’s perfectly OK for you to be who you are. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with and you also get to tell him what you find appropriate. The idea is to talk about things calmly and kindly and listen to each other so you can learn what each of you likes. You’re both equally important.

Keep communicating about things and you’ll eventually have a better idea of what each of you is looking for. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who treats you kindly, values who you are and listens to what you need as well. You’re worth it. Take care.

Hello :) . I been with my boyfriend for 9 months. Him & I claimed our feelings are mutual. But he has friends that are girls. They call each other bros/sis. But they communicate in a way that makes them seem they are in a relationship. He has told me is a way to make them feel better. I'm kinda confused on what's really going on though. Thank you for taking the time to reading this. x — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide what’s appropriate and comfortable for you in a relationship. That means that you can let your boyfriend know what you need.

It’s always a good idea to talk kindly and calmly with the other person before jumping to conclusions. Take some time to think about what you want to ask him and then talk with him. Be brief, friendly and make sure to listen to what he says without interrupting or reacting negatively. Talk a few times if you need to so you can figure out if what he’s saying makes sense to you. It’s also OK for you to let him know what you need in a calm and friendly manner.

The idea is to talk with him until you’re both on the same page. Make sure to listen to your inner voice, it’s the one telling you what’s really going on. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to date you exclusively and treats you the way you want to be treated. You’re that important. Take care.

I saw that my boyfriend was talking on facebook and making plans with this girl he admitted he used to have feelings for, but now they are just friends. But he never told me I found the message on my own, I dont think he is cheatting. I just told him I would like to know if he is hanging out with other girls, and he just got mad — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide how you want to be treated in a relationship and whether you’re listening to your intuition.

You might want to gather more information before you reach a conclusion. Take some time to think about what you might want to ask him and then talk with him calmly and kindly. Talk a few times and figure out if what he’s saying makes sense to you and matches his behavior. Listen closely and watch his reaction, you’ll eventually figure out what’s really going on because your intuition will tell you.

You get to decide what you do next. The general idea is to make sure you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to date people who respect you and tell you the truth. Take care.