Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 7+ months and I love him very much, but he has a very bad habit of calling me a bitch. I tell him everytime to stop, him saying It's a habit and he calls everyone that. Recently I discovered that he doesn't call his ex a bitch ever so it annoys me greatly that he can't stop for me, his girlfriend. I've also discovered that his sends her text saying he's gonna sit her in his lap and do other inappropriate things. What do I do? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. Name calling is unacceptable in a relationship. It shows a disregard for the other person as well as an inability to control one’s own behavior.
You get to decide what you want in a relationship, what kind of person you want to be with and how you want to be treated. Take some time to think about how he treats you and what his behavior says. It’s likely that the way he behaves now is how he’ll behave in the future unless he’s willing to do a lot of work to change it.
It’s OK to ask people for what you need as well. Let him know how you want to be treated and what you find appropriate. Do it in a kind and calm manner but make sure you ask for what you want. Pay close attention to how he reacts and what he does and consider whether it works for you.
It’s up to you to figure out what kind of people you want to let into your life. In a healthy relationship, people treat each other with respect and kindness and support each other in positive ways. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who treats you wonderfully and values the great person you are. Take care.
im dating this guy he my first real long relantionship, next month is gonna be our one year, i lost my V to him & he met my family & we hang out everyday, his dad past away on our 9th month he says to me im the only thing that keeps him going & he always puts himself down, how ugly,fat,&dirty looking he is(he dark) & i start to see things that i dont like about him that it annoys me like the way he eats,sloppy & his body hurts alot, he only 20 & im 18, so far what do u think about my situation? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea for both people in a relationship to feel good about themselves first so that they can be there for each other. You can’t change how he feels about himself, he will need to work on that on his own, preferably with a therapist. He might consider finding a therapist he’s comfortable with and talking about his issues so he can heal and discover how great he is.
It’s up to you what you want to do and how you celebrate the wonderful things about you. You decide what kind of relationship you want to be in and with what type of person. Keep in mind that it’s beneficial to be in a relationship that helps you feel great and move your life in a positive direction. It’s hard to have a relationship where you take care of someone else because it leaves little or no time for you to take care of yourself.
You might want to take some time to think about what you need and what you want to say to your boyfriend. Then you can have some kind and calm conversations where you tell him what you need and listen to him. The idea is to learn about each other and figure out what your next step is. You might both think in terms of getting as healthy and balanced as possible on your own before continuing to build a relationship.
Remember that you both deserve to feel great about yourselves and be in a relationship that makes you happy. Take care.
So I just started at this new school about 2 months ago and me and this guy started dating a month ago and he took my virginity before we even started dating, but I wasn't really attached to it. Now I'm realizing we have nothing in common and he actually kinda annoys me but his family really likes me and I got most of my friends through him. I don't know what to do. And I just don't wanna hurt him. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. You might take some time to think about what you want to do and then plan how to do it. Try not to make your decisions based on obligations to others, do what your inner voice tells you to do.
In life, you get to decide what you do. Those decisions are usually based on what you think will create the most positive results in your life and help you grow and succeed. Take some time to think about what you really want to do and then calmly and kindly tell people.
You can’t do anything about how people react or what happens after you make your decision. Be ready to listen to what they have to say and always behave kindly. Also make sure to talk with people in a gentle, respectful way. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is a good fit for you. Take care.
