Soooo i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years.. i love him a lot but i feel like i am gaining feelings for one of my really good friends. i always thought that if you feel anything for anyone else then you dont LOVE your bf.. but i honestly do. i feel terrible that i have these feelings but i cant help it.. i know that if i break up with my boyfriend ill be sad and i might nt even have a chance with my friend. but i still feel bad for feeling like this =/ what should i do.. — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you what you do in any relationship based on what you think is appropriate. The idea is to make decisions that help you treat yourself well and move your life in a positive direction. Perhaps you might ask yourself some questions to figure out what your next step is, such as:

  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • How do I want them to treat me?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What am I doing to have a great relationship with myself without a significant other in the picture?
  • What is causing my change in feelings?
  • What can I do to make sure I take care of myself and move in a positive direction?
  • How do I define love?
  • What do I really want to do?

Take some time to think about questions like these. After a while you’ll have a clearer idea of what you want to do. The key is to make positive decisions and always make sure to talk kindly and openly with the people involved. Remember that you deserve to be with people who meet your needs and who you are genuinely interested in. Take care.