I have a big situation. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I love him to death, but recently I've been feeling very fed up and sad. He's completely hypocritical, it's one rule for him and another for me. He blames me for all our problems but still expects me to be there at his beck and call all the time. He never takes any responsibility for anything, it is always my fault when I support him in everything he does. I don't know what to do. It's driving me insane. — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important for both partners in a relationship to have the same rights and privileges. When one person gets to do one thing but the other can’t it’s usually due to one partner trying to control the other.
You get to decide what’s appropriate behavior in a relationship and it’s especially important to treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. You might want to take some time to think about what’s working and what’s not working in your relationship and what you would do differently. Think as well about what you want in a relationship and what kind of person you want to be with.
In a healthy relationship, the other person is happy that you’re you and supports you unconditionally. Perhaps you could talk with him about what you think and feel. Keep it brief and to the point and listen carefully to what he says. Over the course of a few conversations you’ll be able to decide what you want to do next. Keep in mind that you can’t change his behavior, only he can do that and it requires a lot of effort.
Remember that you deserve to be with someone who respects your needs, values who you are and supports you at all times. Take care.
