I have been dating this guy for 14 months now, and we don't really do anything because he is my first real relationship, and I'm scared of doing things.. We don't really get to see each other since he lives on the other side of town, and if we do get to see each other it's in school. At first our relationship was amazing, but lately it just feels like it's falling apart. Like it's just a friendship. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, I really do.How can I make it feel like a relationship again? — Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide at what speed you want to move in a relationship. Nobody else gets to decide that for you. Perhaps you might ask yourself a few questions to clarify what you want to do, such as:

  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What am I comfortable doing?
  • What is working and what would I do differently?
  • What am I doing to make sure I take care of myself and move my life in a positive direction?
  • What do I want to tell him?
  • What do I want to learn about him?
  • What would make me more comfortable?

It’s perfectly OK to move at your own pace in a relationship. It’s also beneficial to talk with the other person. Take some time to think about the questions above and then have some calm and kind conversations with your significant other. Ask him questions, listen to what he says and tell him about yourself. Have many conversations so that you learn more about each other and become more comfortable.

The key in any relationship is to know the other person well enough so that you make positive decisions. Take some time to learn about each other and you’ll eventually know what’s right for both of you. Remember to treat yourself well along the way and trust your inner voice. Take care.