I've been going out with this girl for 4 months now, nearly 5. We've known each other 2 years and know one another really well. Recently I've found things quite hard, like she never replies to my texts but she replies to other peoples instantly and she also is always talking about wanting to go out and party. I feel like she's being a bit selfish because I have given her everything, I feel we're in love and i don't want to lose her. Do you see these worries as insecurities or is there a problem? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s normal to wonder what’s going on when something changes in a relationship. When someone’s behavior changes it can mean any number of things, the key is to find out what’s going on.
One of the best ways to get more information is to talk with her calmly and kindly. Think about what you would like to ask her or what you’re wondering about. Then set up a time when you’re both able to talk and ask her your questions. Keep them brief and free of judgments. You’re trying to gather information and learn about what’s going on so you can decide what to do next. Listen to her answers without interrupting or reacting negatively.
The more the two of you talk the more you’ll know what’s going on and what you want to do to take care of yourself and move in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values you, wants to spend time with you and works hard to communicate openly. Take care.
