Hi, I got a situation that I think I am falling for a really good friend of mine. I know her over couple years, only two years apart, and even though live about 4-6 hours apart. I drive all the way there just to see her. She have been on a few bad relationship and think bad of herself. I Love this girl to death as a friend and I really want to tell her that she not worthless and I want to show her that there guys out there that will love to be with her. any advice? — Anonymous
Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you care for someone in a relationship and you want to help them feel better. The difficulty is that only they can increase their self-esteem, not you. It’s a long process that takes a lot of hard work, preferably with a therapist.
You can be supportive and encourage the person to get help but it’s very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn’t feel good about themselves. That’s not because there’s anything wrong with them, it’s just that they need to do some work on their own to fix things.
You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you really want and with what kind of person. Consider what would help you treat yourself well and move in a positive direction. In a healthy relationship, both people feel great and then add to each other’s lives. There’s nothing that says you can’t be friends, just keep in mind that the way she behaves right now is likely to be how she behaves in the future unless she decides to seek help.
In the meantime, make sure you do things to feel great about yourself and build yourself up outside this relationship. Be the happiest and healthiest you possible and live a great life. Remember that you deserve to have a relationship with someone who is healthy and can support you as much as you support them. Take care.
